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Tina sat in the driveway parked behind Bette’s car for a long time. Her heart was beating, her palms were sweating, she couldn’t make sense of anything. She stared at the back of Bette’s car and asked herself over and over again, what did she hope to gain? What was she doing there?
There was a lot of truth to what had been said. Some more truths, also, that Tina couldn’t really remember being put so bluntly into words. Bette was guarded sometimes, it felt like she almost asked without asking to assume that she felt one way or another. In the beginning, Bette’s feelings felt so loud at times that Tina could hardly think about her own over the sound. Then a shift occurred, once they had chosen to settle down, and that loudness diminished and became a low frequency hum. It was peaceful. It almost made Tina grow questioning. Tina questioned Bette’s…. Everything. All the while, she had been so busy trying to make her own way to realize the peace was really just… Peace. In the moment Tina was beginning to realize how tranquil it was in New York, the only thing that wasn’t serene was her. She was so focused on playing catch up that she tuned in to the chaos like it was a late night talk-show that never ends. She discovered Carrie in that chaos and then Carrie was the only thing that made sense. Carrie…
Like a lightbulb bursting over her head, the blond woman cursed and grabbed her phone, plugging it in and furiously trying to press the top button to turn it on. She had no idea what she was doing but she knew for sure, at least, that what she was doing was not at all what she was supposed to have been doing. Turning on her phone, she saw a few missed texts and a phone call from work, one from Bette, and Carrie. Tapping into her messages app, she began to quickly compose a text to Carrie to let her know that there had been a change of plans, but not to worry. Beginning to write I love you at the end, she paused. She stared at the start of the new message line ’I love…’ for a few seconds. She bit down on her lower lip and concluded the sentence with ’you’ then sent it off before leaving her phone in the cup holder and opening up her car door to step outside of the vehicle.