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    The Journey 37

    Bette: I glare at Tina as she grabs my arm to indicate she should let go, and she does.

    Tina: “Bette, will you listen to me? I never, ever let Helena or Sam take me like that, like I just had you. I never loved them Bette, I never desired to make them mine, I never felt insanely jealous when other women paid them attention. I only ever loved you. I admit it Bette, there was some pay back, a very, very small part for which I apologize. A much larger part is that I wanted to make you mine again, but not in a negative way. Bette, we both had other partners, I guess I was trying to erase my insecurities about other lovers you may had, that maybe I wasn’t up to their, maybe I wouldn’t please you as much. I needed to know you wanted to give yourself to me and that things were not going to be the same and you were going to be OK with that. Bette, are you listening? I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.” I see Bette is preparing to go. “Please stay.” I implore her but I will not ask again, it needs to be her decision.

    Bette: I study Tina and hesitate. It seems an eternity before I answer but Tina does not ask me to stay again. “OK’ is all I say.

    Tina: “OK?”

    Bette: “OK.I had a lot of time to think while I was away Tee. I might have done the same if the situation was reversed. I’m sorry, it’s me who should be apologizing. This” and I sweep my arm around the room and to Tina “is a lot for me to take in.” I reach out and take Tina’s hand and pull her towards where we were previously. We sit, she sits in front and I hold her. “I’m sorry Tee.” I whisper in her ear.

    Tina: “Me too.” And I squeeze Bette’s hand to let her know it’s alright. “We are just finding our way, we have to be patient.”

    Bette: I nod. “It wasn’t all a bad start, was it?” I try to inject a little humour.

    Tina: “No, no it wasn’t. Bette, can we sit here a little longer?”

    Bette: “We can sit here for as long as you want baby.” And I hold Tina a little tighter.

     

     

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    Comments

    1. I’m agreeing with Lauren25, don’t you ever scare me like that again and get on with the new found happiness, they deserve it! great update! post soon please!

    2. Thank you for that chapter because I was thinking what Bette was thinking and not really liking it much…I’m also glad that it god resolved as it did as it could have been another blowup…

    3. I have followed your story along theway and until now have been a silent reader. Anyway, just wanted to weigh in on this. I definately don’t like Tina’s explanation. Forgiveness is a beautiful thing and revenge is something different. If Tina has not truly forgiven Bette for her indiscretion then they should not travel this road. If she has forgiven Bette then their would be no need for revenge. I think Bette should have not conceded quite so easily and could have probed further to better determine their current state and whether or not she has truly been forgiven.

    4. well, that was close…i did understand tina’s explanation and even though bette might concider to ask more questions, i think tina truly loves her and next time it will be love making that they both crave

    5. Great post. They both needed to exercise that demon…but they need to remember their renewed marriage is based on equality not domination. Please post soon.

    6. wow that was intense… great job… i can see Bette’s anger and doubts… wait to see if Tina really forgave Bette (now I’m not so sure) and if Bette fully accepted Tina’s explanation (I did)… thanks

    7. Unbeknown…Great writing. So intense. I love your ability to really give detail to the story and their thoughts but the last 2-3 paragraphs confused me. I understood that Tina was showing Bette that she was going to an equal partner to Bette in every way, in this case, the bedroom. However, why did Bette apologize to Tina, when Tina really tried to sexually subjugate Bette with the use of handcuffs, etc. ? help me out here. After all, Bette said she understood equality not ownership. Thx.

    8. I totally agree with honda90….”because I was thinking what Bette was thinking and not really liking it much”. I’m so glad to see the way this chapter ended and please continue…

    9. Bette really did need to say that, the situation can’t be changed by having Tina trying to dominate Bette so she feels secure. I had a feeling Bette wouldn’t like it very much but now I think they should just move on together as equals.

    10. at the beginning of this chapter u described what Bette used to do to Tina to claim ownership so as the song says “I learnt from the best”; and T took control and really Imo Bette got angry after the fact because she fears losing control,so yes she should apologies for all the times she made T submit which you describe 2 of and allude to more…because that submission carried on out of the bedroom and filled the parameters of their relationship until T lost her identity…T is saying I want u Bette but as equals…I will not submit again unless you do…I thought this was one of the best B & T chapters I have ever read…it truly defines their new relationship, T is no longer Bette’s bumboy to put it bluntly…and I think she well and truly learnt her lesson about how that feels to be dominated, great stuff

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