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    The Journey 55

    Tina: “It is simple Bette, it is just a matter of what you want.”

    Bette: It seems an eternity while Tina’s words echo in my head and I feel a flash of anger and wonder if it is so simple then why are we here, like this? Was it that simple when she had an affair? I manage to contain the anger. I pick my napkin up off my lap and neatly fold it on the table, taking far too long. I place my hand over the top of the napkin like it might offer me some security. Tina watches me intently, patiently waiting. Finally, “I’m sorry Tina, I’m just not ready.” Instantly I see the disappointment, confusion and anger in Tina’s eyes, despite her best attempts to adjust her body language.

    Tina: I wonder what goes on in Bette’s head sometimes. “I see.” Is all I say to a concession that I have to make.

    Bette: “Do you?”

    Tina: I shake my head. “No, I don’t really. I don’t understand.”

    Bette: I start to feel a little exasperated. “Tina” I say a little more firmly. “You had an affair, with a man, in our house. Come on, you cannot seriously expect me to …..” and I search for the right words.

    Tina: “To what?” I ask in a flash of anger. Unknown to Bette I am angry with myself, not her, for ever letting this happen.

    Bette: I don’t answer but tilt my head and make eye contact to indicate I should not really need to complete my sentence.

    Tina: “Does it matter Bette, that the affair was with a man, would have been better or worse if it was with a woman?” My tone demands an answer to a useless question.

    Bette: There is a real edge in Tina’s voice and any minute emotions are going to boil over. “Does it make any difference if it would have been better or worse?” and I answer with a question with a question because I do not know the answer.

    Tina: “That’s not a real answer.”

    Bette: “Tina, I’m sorry, I know you were hopeful.” I say this with real emotion. “But this, if we are going to work this out will not run on your timetable. God knows it does not run on my time table.”

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    Comments

    1. Way to go Tina, stand and fight for what you want. If you want all your girls together then brake out the battle materials. Just having the girls should be one point for Tina. Bette also does not want to loose her girls and that includes Tina. I am glad that you will try and post weekly. Thanks.

    2. I love the tense atmosphere you capture so perfectly, the way that at any moment the conversation can turn and things get pointed or heated. I really love the peaceful moments in between when you give us enough hope to keep on reading this great story. I am looking forward to watching them heal again. Keep on writing – it’s wonderful.

    3. This is a wonderful, powerful story. The setting near the ocean adds to the somberness and raw feelings. And it helps expose their true feelings. Please continue posting.

    4. It’s good to see Bette bonding with Laurel. Both Bette and Tina seems to be willing to make an effort to have their family together although there’s anger and uncertainty between them. But if they’re willing, that’s half the battle. Right?? Thanks for the update and hope to read the next chapter soon.

    5. I hope they work it out soon. And maybe they should share a bed..no sex yet!! just holding each other trying to find the hope / talk / learn each other again.

    6. i started reading this story about 4 days ago and i could’nt stop. this story is amazing, it’s so raw. I love the determination between these characthers and their passion.

    7. oh unbeknown, I love your story, this is an excellent news that you’re gonna post (10 pages) every weeks ;-) A morning walk on the beach with her girl seems to be a good way to start the day for Bette. This chapter leave me in a very pleasant mood, thank you ! mmm, the thing about updating each week, is it retroactive ? because since january … :-)

    8. I just started to read some stories on this site again about two weeks ago and a few days ago I found yours and I loved it so MUCH that I have read ALL 55 chapters in three days. I love how you write, you draw me in. Keep up the awesome work. I look forward to the next chapters.

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