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Its 7pm and Tina is in a panic. That is because we are supposed to be spending the evening a few kilometres away at Melvin’s house- just a dinner to discuss the biography. He usually comes her but he’s got a new cook who is supposed to be a miracle worker so he invited us there. Its only for a few hours – we should be home by 11 or midnight. The problem is that it is the first time we have both left Ella.

The idea is that Leigh and Lucy baby-sit their niece. She will only want feeding once – 10pm and Tina had expressed some breast milk which just has to be warmed to the right temperature and fed to Ella. They have both changed her diaper and had some success in nursing her to sleep. They both love her to bits and neither will let anything happen to her. I trust them – Tina trusted them two days ago when the idea was first mooted – now she is less sure. I go downstairs and find Leigh and Lucy – they are in the kitchen making food.

“Right – at some point in the next thirty minutes I am going to try and get Tina out of the house and into the car. She is already freaking out – you two will do EVERYTHING that you can to placate her. You will swear that neither of you will drink alcohol. That you will call us frequently with updates about Ella- even if the update is – I’ve been upstairs – she is lying on her back – she is gorgeous – are we on the same wave length here?”

“Yes Bette “Leigh nods

I look at Lucy “ This is not the time for making jokes at Tina – if there is a single gag about you not being sure where Ella is or that she’s nipped out for a pizza I will personally make you regret it for a very long time. Tina is naturally concerned about leaving our baby for the first time”

“Don’t worry Bette – we take caring for her very seriously “Leigh says

“You I trust –this one “I point at my sister in law “This one is less sensible. Leigh – you are in charge “