Now Dana has started to write me these amazing letters. They’re so full of love, passion and want. Each one speaks straight to my heart telling me to go and be with her. Is this enough though?. My head is telling me to be logical and think things through. I have a feeling I should listen to my head for once. If I’d have done that all those years ago I would’ve saved myself a lot of pain. We rushed into a relationship not considering how it would effect us. We had a good strong friendship and we put that on the line without giving it serious thought. I wanted Dana so badly, I still do, that nothing else mattered. I wanted her as my girlfriend. I wanted to love her, show her the love I have in my heart. I never realised that in getting together with Dana I would’ve lost a friend.

So how can I go back to that. To be so in love and caught up in lust at first. Then when we start to settle those old cracks begin to appear. I don’t know if I can stop that jealous and insecure person coming back through. It really scares me that I have no control over my feelings and actions. I know your going to say you cant control who you fall in love with. I do know that because if you could I could’ve gotten over Dana. You can however control your actions. I mean your in love right and you don’t go around being clingy and insecure. You love Sarah yet you give her time to breathe and be herself. She has independence and your trust. With Dana that never happened. I was so scared of loosing her that I tried to keep her with me at all times. In the end it drove her away and I cant blame her for that. I know if the shoe was on the other foot I would’ve done exactly the same thing.

So do I go back to Dana and try again and if I did would the insecurities always linger over us?. I really need to know what you think about this. I love Dana with my heart and soul and when I seen her that Friday my heart felt warm and beat really fast. I knew it would because she means exactly the same to me now as she did then. Talking to her and seeing the changes in her were amazing and made me love her even more. But im not sure if I can do it.

So do I listen to my heart or my head.?. Help me decide what to do as you always give the best advice.

Speak to you really soon and give my love to Sarah and the gang.

Love you and miss you,

Alice.*****