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The Olympic Situation
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“Just deciding what sport we would be good at if we were taking part in the Olympics…”
“So you are fencing Al?” Bette asked.
“Apparently, but that’s just poopy shit…, Shane, you could do wrestling…, you know because you like to go for every round and get as many partners as you possibly can, or what about the steeplechase…, coz it’s like you like the chase and then, just keep running…”
Jenny sat up straight, laying her hands on her lap in a prim manner, “Shane, I have the perfect Olympic sport for you…, it has to be Equestrian…, because from where I am all you really like doing Shane is fucking everything in sight…, it’s like you are some stallion that has to prove a point…, or is it purely because you just like riding…, but you ride over everyone Shane, you just fuck them and trot away to your stable…”
Tina leaned towards Bette, whispering in her ear, “twit twoo!”
Bette brought her hand up to hide her smirk from Tina’s words, “do you think it’s an Olympic sport to be up your own ass?”
“If it was she’d be reigning Olympic Champion”
“So Porter, what’s your sport?”
Bette glanced at Tina, “I think it would have to be with my partner here…” she leaned forward placing her lips against Tina’s as she spoke.
“Oh don’t tell me…, women’s beach volleyball?” Alice quipped.
“No actually…” Tina interrupted, linking her fingers with Bette’s, “I think I know…”
Bette leaned towards Tina as she shared her thoughts, Bette nodded as she agreed with Tina’s words, “go for it babe…”
“Our team sport is…”
“Rowing?”
“Badminton?”
“Boxing?”
“Uh…, excuse me…” Tina said as she held up her hand to all the suggestions, “we are Team Portard…, The Champions of Synchronised Mattress Swimming…”
“Yeah…” Kit shouted, “that’s my girls…”
“Synchronised mattress swimming? Ugh…” Alice said as she creased her face up.
“Alice, I thought you were all for us having an intense physical relationship?”
“Oh I so am, I kinda like to think about you two being the hottest thing on the planet when you get down to the jiggy jiggy…”
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Mate, this is just what I needed… a good laugh after all this S6/interrogation tapes nonsense. Thank you! It also made me feel a bit better, there’s nothing better than reading a story from Jobadge when this cold is keeping me so low! xoxo
Genius !! and i see that with your therapy you have stopped mention Levis in every chapter !!. hope you are doing well mate xx
“Just off the top and plop.” Oh my God that is FUNNY!!!!!!! This was laugh out loud funny, thank you JoBadge!
Great fun
OMG that was really funny…thanks for the laugh!!!
Jo… loved this… and i also believe jenny fell off the deck and hit the deck around the pool, but tried to get up and then fell in the pool… oh well,… so glad you had them tell each other every thing… so any chance of a sequel to this… (Hey you going to the convention down under)…
Oh I laughed sooo hard. That was great!
Well, if nothing else, 608 and the interrogatory tapes have inspired some very creative writing around here. Thanks Jo…we needed that!
Betweem you and Seahurst,you put a little sunshine and laughter in our day.
we really needed this! thanks, Jo!
LOL
Nice Jo, just so nice to see jenny’s plop, thanks for that, I don’t think I ever laughed at a death before. Thank you, Md aka Oma
rofl love it!!! very nice! :)
Nice one! I didn’t mind Tina’s pink dress but i really really loved the black one she wore when James was visiting… She look so hot!
“Just off the top and plop.” could actually just sum up exactly what happened with season 6, very clever.
rotflmfao. Awesome. I needed a good laugh and thank you. Off the top and plop sums up the whole sixth season well except for certain scenes (veg)
Jo, you had me snorting with laughter. This was priceless. THANK YOU for handling the “secret” with sensitivity and class. These characters are safe in your loving hands. MORE of Lady Slayer. Oh, and about that image … I agree, Levi’s it is. xo
LMFAO!!!! Absolutely fucking hilarious babe!! Your funniest yet and had me lol on so many occassions!! I think it summed up the last ep perfectly!! Were the railings broken….I hadn’t realised….lol I loved that you included our reference to Jenny and her glasses as being an owl and I noticed a few other personal references in there too….I know that one in particular would have made you smile as you typed!! I’m just a bit sad we had to watch the last ep apart…But anyway, fab stuff baby! LU X
That was hilarious. The entire season 6 was a crock of shit, or as one student put it a pile of dead pooopooo. Too bad ic and Jenny did not attempt the synchronized diving portion of the Olympics. The splat would have been much bigger.
LMAO!!! Really…. thank you for making me laugh after watching Tina’s unrealistic nightmare of an interrogation tape!!! I swear IC smokes crack!!!!! :)
Wow just what the doctor ordered! Thanks for the laugh I really needed that:)
What a perfect response to crazy disappointment of Season Sux and the infamous TITS (Tina Interrogation Tapes). Laughter will cure a lot of things, and I think you cured many us feeling so disappointed at the end of our beloved show in such a bizarre fashion. Mwah!
Hahahahahahahahaha ! Just frigging hilarious !
OMG That was freaking funny and love it. Thanks my friend, we all need story like this!
Lmao..enjoyed that very much…
LMFAO!!!!!!!!!! Great!
Hilarious! Thank you Jobadge. Just what I needed… actually much better then the finale on Sunday.. what a hoot :) Thank you!
that was definitely the funniest, most WONDERFULLY ornery (in a extremely positive way lest you think I mean ornery in any negative sense) reflection to date of that awful hour known as the final episode. You are a gem. Thanks a zillion!!!!!
Hey Jo, This was the perfect antidote to the Finale. LMAO totally. Loved the scarkey comments re Tina and Bette sharing info about Tina’s abusive sister and Bette’s encounter with a drunken Kelly. Right on. Jo, you rock. Thank you so much and please continue with this irreverent style and story-telling. Your Loyal Fan.
Very funny post! As soon as I read diving I had this lovely image of Jenny and a swan dive off the railless balcony. Thanks!
Oh, Gosh! Jo, you had us laughing hard here, all along this Olympic gig. Hahaha This was just PRICELESS. Thanks for bringing us some sarcasm about the Finale. Ah, yes. We are missing something. The Levis were not mentioned here. That is why we think your talent would be best spent on writing an update on Lady Slayer. THAT story is a joy to read, dearest friend. Hugs & kisses on both your cheeks. – Lu & Marsh (Proud Salsa Aunties to the ever loving JC and Eunichick and Tias Adoradas to Patpez)
GOD BLESS YOU for making me laugh so hard! I am left to ponder for the 100 millionth time why we couldn’t have writers like you for the show?! That should have been the spin-off..Tibettemin stories from all the various WONDERFUL fan fiction writers…same fantastic couple with a different story every few weeks! thank you SO VERY MUCH!! have always loved your writings!!
Fucking so smart and hysterical. I only hope just 1 of the actors gets wind of your story cause then inevitabbly the rest will surely enjoy and embrase the ironic novelty of it all. A big helping of FUCKING CRAZY SHIT, right after another unFUCKINGbelievable helping of CRAZY SHIT. Just perfect Jobadge. We’re all just swimming in it right now aren’t we???? Thanks for the laughs cause it’s not often I laugh out loud MORE THAN ONCE and that the sound makes my dog leave the room due to it’s weird noise she’s so not used to hearing lately. You know it’s serious when you’re own dog leaves the room….I know my puppy will be ok eventually but will any of us?
Cute.