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The Olympic Situation
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“Why does she have to speak with plum in her mouth and act like she has a pole up her ass?”
“Be careful of the railing!” Bette called after Jenny.
“How many times do you have to mention the railing for it to be an obvious hazard, we all know it’s a fucking hazard Porter…, it already has fluorescent tape around it because weazle or woozle or whatever the weezsomething hasn’t finished it yet”
“I’m being cautious Alice…”
“Yeah whatever…, I already told you it’s a great platform for bombing into the pool…”
“I don’t think that would make a good example for Angelica though do you…”
“Duh…, you don’t do it in front of her, you do it when she’s gone to bed and you let your hair down and have fun together…, you Portard’s do have fun together don’t you?”
“Oh Alice, we have more fun that you would ever imagine…” Tina added as her hand slid into Bette’s, both remembering how much fun they had last night doing their very own synchronised mattress swimming routine.
“I really need the bathroom…” Alice said as she got up and walked from the room.
“Bathroom is upstairs, powder room downstairs…” Bette called.
“Oh for goodness sake Porter, who has a ‘powder room’”
“We do…” Tina shouted after her.
The women chatted amongst one another as the group seemed to dwindle in numbers with Jenny exploring the new house and Alice gone to the bathroom.
“Guys, I’m just going to have a smoke…” Shane said as she got up.
Alice came rushing into the room just as Shane was about to walk out, her breath coming in short gasps…, “Its Jenny…”
“What do you mean?”
“I think she was practising her Olympic Sport…”
“What are you talking about Alice?”
“I think she did her high dive…, you know the quadruple somersault with half twist and pike…, but kinda misjudged the amount of room she needed to do such a dive…”
“She did what?”
Alice held her arm out straight, moving it sideways as she bent her wrist at a right angle. “off the balcony…, dived and…, plop…, didn’t make it.”
“What none of it? Not the somersaults or twist or pike?”
“Nope, nothing, nada…, just off the top and plop…”
“What about a bomb?”
“No…, just…, plop…”
“Just a plop…”
Bette turned to Tina with concern written across her face, “God T…, I hope she didn’t make a mess in the pool…”
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Mate, this is just what I needed… a good laugh after all this S6/interrogation tapes nonsense. Thank you! It also made me feel a bit better, there’s nothing better than reading a story from Jobadge when this cold is keeping me so low! xoxo
Genius !! and i see that with your therapy you have stopped mention Levis in every chapter !!. hope you are doing well mate xx
“Just off the top and plop.” Oh my God that is FUNNY!!!!!!! This was laugh out loud funny, thank you JoBadge!
Great fun
OMG that was really funny…thanks for the laugh!!!
Jo… loved this… and i also believe jenny fell off the deck and hit the deck around the pool, but tried to get up and then fell in the pool… oh well,… so glad you had them tell each other every thing… so any chance of a sequel to this… (Hey you going to the convention down under)…
Oh I laughed sooo hard. That was great!
Well, if nothing else, 608 and the interrogatory tapes have inspired some very creative writing around here. Thanks Jo…we needed that!
Betweem you and Seahurst,you put a little sunshine and laughter in our day.
we really needed this! thanks, Jo!
LOL
Nice Jo, just so nice to see jenny’s plop, thanks for that, I don’t think I ever laughed at a death before. Thank you, Md aka Oma
rofl love it!!! very nice! :)
Nice one! I didn’t mind Tina’s pink dress but i really really loved the black one she wore when James was visiting… She look so hot!
“Just off the top and plop.” could actually just sum up exactly what happened with season 6, very clever.
rotflmfao. Awesome. I needed a good laugh and thank you. Off the top and plop sums up the whole sixth season well except for certain scenes (veg)
Jo, you had me snorting with laughter. This was priceless. THANK YOU for handling the “secret” with sensitivity and class. These characters are safe in your loving hands. MORE of Lady Slayer. Oh, and about that image … I agree, Levi’s it is. xo
LMFAO!!!! Absolutely fucking hilarious babe!! Your funniest yet and had me lol on so many occassions!! I think it summed up the last ep perfectly!! Were the railings broken….I hadn’t realised….lol I loved that you included our reference to Jenny and her glasses as being an owl and I noticed a few other personal references in there too….I know that one in particular would have made you smile as you typed!! I’m just a bit sad we had to watch the last ep apart…But anyway, fab stuff baby! LU X
That was hilarious. The entire season 6 was a crock of shit, or as one student put it a pile of dead pooopooo. Too bad ic and Jenny did not attempt the synchronized diving portion of the Olympics. The splat would have been much bigger.
LMAO!!! Really…. thank you for making me laugh after watching Tina’s unrealistic nightmare of an interrogation tape!!! I swear IC smokes crack!!!!! :)
Wow just what the doctor ordered! Thanks for the laugh I really needed that:)
What a perfect response to crazy disappointment of Season Sux and the infamous TITS (Tina Interrogation Tapes). Laughter will cure a lot of things, and I think you cured many us feeling so disappointed at the end of our beloved show in such a bizarre fashion. Mwah!
Hahahahahahahahaha ! Just frigging hilarious !
OMG That was freaking funny and love it. Thanks my friend, we all need story like this!
Lmao..enjoyed that very much…
LMFAO!!!!!!!!!! Great!
Hilarious! Thank you Jobadge. Just what I needed… actually much better then the finale on Sunday.. what a hoot :) Thank you!
that was definitely the funniest, most WONDERFULLY ornery (in a extremely positive way lest you think I mean ornery in any negative sense) reflection to date of that awful hour known as the final episode. You are a gem. Thanks a zillion!!!!!
Hey Jo, This was the perfect antidote to the Finale. LMAO totally. Loved the scarkey comments re Tina and Bette sharing info about Tina’s abusive sister and Bette’s encounter with a drunken Kelly. Right on. Jo, you rock. Thank you so much and please continue with this irreverent style and story-telling. Your Loyal Fan.
Very funny post! As soon as I read diving I had this lovely image of Jenny and a swan dive off the railless balcony. Thanks!
Oh, Gosh! Jo, you had us laughing hard here, all along this Olympic gig. Hahaha This was just PRICELESS. Thanks for bringing us some sarcasm about the Finale. Ah, yes. We are missing something. The Levis were not mentioned here. That is why we think your talent would be best spent on writing an update on Lady Slayer. THAT story is a joy to read, dearest friend. Hugs & kisses on both your cheeks. – Lu & Marsh (Proud Salsa Aunties to the ever loving JC and Eunichick and Tias Adoradas to Patpez)
GOD BLESS YOU for making me laugh so hard! I am left to ponder for the 100 millionth time why we couldn’t have writers like you for the show?! That should have been the spin-off..Tibettemin stories from all the various WONDERFUL fan fiction writers…same fantastic couple with a different story every few weeks! thank you SO VERY MUCH!! have always loved your writings!!
Fucking so smart and hysterical. I only hope just 1 of the actors gets wind of your story cause then inevitabbly the rest will surely enjoy and embrase the ironic novelty of it all. A big helping of FUCKING CRAZY SHIT, right after another unFUCKINGbelievable helping of CRAZY SHIT. Just perfect Jobadge. We’re all just swimming in it right now aren’t we???? Thanks for the laughs cause it’s not often I laugh out loud MORE THAN ONCE and that the sound makes my dog leave the room due to it’s weird noise she’s so not used to hearing lately. You know it’s serious when you’re own dog leaves the room….I know my puppy will be ok eventually but will any of us?
Cute.