Carmen… the Onyx in my neck turns grey … still don’t know what that means…she’s in the middle of the stage. She has on some really sexy underwear… black… I love black… she starts moving with the music. Her hips moving back and forth making me feel dizzy… I notice a new tattoo… a heart with something in it, on her back… God I want her…the fact that she’s right there…. Dancing for me… well not for me … There are like 6 people here at the VIP, two tables all looking at her… then I feel jealous cause I’m not the only one here… she’s not dancing for me, but to everybody… I hate this… Carmen a stripper?… she is suppose to dance for me…. Just for me…. then she moves closer to a pole that was behind her and well… you know what she’s doing… then some guy said ‘take off the bra!!’ she smiles and I feel like punching this guy… but she does… and this is too much for me… I want so bad to go there and kiss her… to take her to the back and… FUCK!!… Then she goes down the stage and moves closer to this woman on the other table and gets in top of her and pushes her breast on her face… MAN!!! I swear to god I’m gonna kill this woman… she’s smiling and grabbing Carmen’s ass… ok she’s dead… I can’t take this any longer so I get up and walk away… I go out the VIP area and go to the bar. I drink a beer thinking what a fucked up universe this is… I mean a stripper?… she would have never done that. She’s not my Carmen… still I want her so much. I can’t help but think of how different she looks… in her eyes I can see how sad she is… like when Dana died… her dark hair longer… her skin looks pallid…her body stronger… well here everyone is stronger… her abs… and her new tattoo on the back… I know for sure it’s a heart but I couldn’t see what was in it….. I miss her… I miss her smile…. I miss her laugh… I just miss her….