– I remember, but he’s dying Sydney and he is our dad, besides you look like you could use sometime off.- Oh right I just remembered I must look like shit, I was crying and all, but he’s right I sure could use some time off here, and I guess I have nothing to lose. So I tell my brother and Monica (I won’t call her mom) to wait for me outside, I have to talk to Bette and Tina, and explain this to them, so when I get in, they both look really worried.

            – I have to go with them.- I say looking from one to the other expecting them to react, but they don’t.

            – We understand just be sure to come back to us, we will miss you.-

            – Oh I will come back, I just have to deal with this, and some other things, and a little time off will do me good, I promise I will continue with therapy for as long as I’m there, and I’ll write to you every week, and you will do to, and you’ll send me pictures lots of those, so I can se the progress of my sister, I will be back before she’s born though.-

            – You better well now go get ready, you’re family is waiting.-

            – No, they are not my family, I just need to get some answers from them, but it is very clear to me that my family is here.- it took me about five minutes to gather all my stuff and be out again, so we took a cab and got to the airport where we waited for about an hour before leaving to N.Y. all silent, neither one said a word during the entire trip. But now we’re right in front of the house that once was my house, a very very long time ago, but it looks exactly the same, as we get inside all these childhood memories come rushing trough my head, and I don’t like it at all. Paris is the first one to get into the old guy’s room, then Monica follows, and it takes me about ten more minutes to get in, he look so fragile, so weak, certainly not the way he looked like the last time a saw him, he’s just watching us, I’ve always thought that he is physically incapable of smiling, or showing any kind of feeling for that matter.