Ch 5

Hotel Room

I am sitting in the hotel room, starring down at the cup of black liquid in my hand.

“Hey, Carm. What are you doing?” Cat settles next to me on the couch.  She places a kiss on my forehead and pours herself a cup of coffee. 

“Sorry, I was just day dreaming.” I said distractedly.

“You’ve been like this since you saw her at The Planet two nights ago.  I have tried to give you some space, but I can’t bear to see you like this any longer…“ She sighs. 

“Do you love her?”  She asks in a very soft voice.

I can see that she is scared of my answer. I don’t know, seeing Shane stirred up all sorts of emotions inside, some that I thought I had made peace with them a long time ago.  Love is certainly one of them.

“It’s complicated.”  That’s all I managed to mutter.

“A messy break up?”  She asks gingerly, she is holding my hands in hers, her thumbs are massaging the back of mine.

“You could say that.”   I answer softly, trying not to get too emotional.

She took a deep breath with her eyes closed. When she opens her eyes, she looks directly at me and asks.  ”Do you want her back?” 

“NO! God, no!”  I panicked and suddenly realised that I have been putting Cat through a very tough time too.  I am so selfish! 

“I love you, Cat.”  A tear slides down my cheek. 

She looks surprised, eyes widen.   “I am in love with YOU.  I am sorry if I gave you the wrong idea that I wanted her back.  I am happy with YOU, you need to understand that.”  I said seriously, hoping that she will believe me.

Her shoulders drop as she lets out a sigh of relief. She smiles.

”I love you too, Carm. I was so sacred that you were going to break up with me!”  She wiped my tear away with her thumb.

“Shit, have I given you any reasons to believe that?”  I am getting worried.

“Well, the way that you have been acting in the last two days… it did cross my mind.  I hardly know anything about what happened between you two!  You can’t blame me for having those thoughts…”  She explains guiltily.