—

 “Fuck!” I scream scared. I looked at my surroundings and I’m in my room, in my bed, breathing hard and sweating. It was just a dream… a fucking dream. Everything comes back to me. I turned to my left, thinking I was gonna find Carmen there… but she wasn’t… I got up and put my shirt on and some pants and walked out my room quietly looking for Carmen. When I am close to her room I hear her talking… Alice is there again.

“Did you do it?”

“Alice…”

“Did you?” why does she wanna know?

“Yes…”

“Is she yours?” hers?… what the fuck. Carmen didn’t answers for a couple of seconds

“I have her in the palm of my hand Alice, you know that. Your plan worked, now go away I want to go to sleep” what the… she… how can she…. that bitch.

“She tired you huh?”

“Fuck you get out” fuck… I walk away to hide in one of the sides so Alice couldn’t see me. Alice gets out and walks to her room and I make my way back to mine.

Fuck… they were right… I can’t trust them… her…she has me?… it was all a fucking… lie… a job. I try not to make noise, I don’t want them to come and check on me. I’m pacing from side to side…. I should have known… fuck! I was used for amusement, a plan. I got cough in her fucking spell. She made me hers… like alcohol got me drunk for her, made me drink her all, wanting more. Like a cloud of pot, got me hi, not being able to see through the smoke…  It was just an illusion. Seduced me with her eyes, so she could play with me. Made me sin, made me love, just to be broken. I don’t cry… I can’t.

What do I do now? Can’t go away… can’t run. She has me prisoner. I’ve been bit… and no matter how much I lick my wounds, the venom gets deeper…and deeper…

—–

“Shane good work today” Bette says leaving the table. I get up too.

I don’t say anything… it’s been like this for 3 month. I wake up, I go train, out with the girls for a new job, kill, come back home, reunion at dinner talking about today’s work, and…