“Okay,” with a twinkle in her eye she countered, “how about Tuesday?”   Flexibility was mine to offer since I was asking the favor.  Plus, her mild insistence on the matter was amusing so I’d agreed. After all, breakfast was the most important meal of the day and waking a little earlier would be tolerated.  The day and time were settled.

Her next question was approached cautiously, “Do you want another drink?”

Just then I heard Helena taking her leave.  She had a flight out the following morning and we’d agreed upon arrival to stay only until eleven tonight allowing her time to prepare and rest.

“I, no, sorry but I…” Somehow the words wouldn’t follow.  Sure we were learning to handle our new interaction but awkward moments still arose. What idiot said being friends after being so much more was even possible or easy?  What made it harder was that a part of me wanted to stay.

“It’s just…” I was biting my lip by then.

“It’s okay.” Her kind look didn’t necessarily put me at ease. Neither did the familiar crooked smile she used to relax others in conversation. “You don’t have to explain.”

“So I’ll see you for breakfast on Tuesday.”  She joked, “your day of choice.”  She promised, “I’ll return this” tapping the opened page rapidly “to you then, sections in tact.”

“Yes…Tuesday. Thanks for doing this.”  I replied while snapping the clasps back in place.  Warily, admitting to having overheard I asked, “Sorry I heard Kit earlier.  Are you going on a trip?”

She reached to slide the binder closer. “Do you remember Emma?” I nodded in recognition mentioning Yale, my reference point to her friend. 

“Right,” Bette confirmed.  “Well she called about looking for someone to head a planned expansion and offered me the position.” 

My response was concise. “Oh” was all I could muster while thoughts ricocheted in my head.  I’d initially assumed somewhere in LA but Kit’s comment about the house shed light on that assumption. 

“Are you…leaving?” I asked hesitantly.  The disquiet in my chest was noticeable but for some reason I felt calm.  More aptly, numb.  

“No, no.”  Shaking her head.  “I declined the offer actually.  But you know how she is.  Almost as persistent as I am so she’s visiting for the show.  Confident of course that she can sway my decision.  You might see her if you decide to come.”  Earlier, she’d issued an invitation to the group for opening night.  In fact Helena had already discussed attending triggered by an advertisement in the paper one night.

I was relieved.  My lack of animation was due to the numbness that pervaded within that saturated my reaction and nullified that feeling of relief.

It was difficult to imagine living here without Bette.  The idea of her not in the house, in the gallery or not seeing her here at The Planet, the thought of her physical absence was disconcerting.  Unthinkable.  Something I wasn’t afraid to admit even in my current state.

“I wouldn’t want you to leave.”  Enunciating each word, “I would miss you if you did.”  Looking up, I caught and held her look.

Faintly as if whispering a secret she admitted, “I miss you everyday.” 

The admission was touching.  Much more so since it was made with emotional candor selectively shared.  She broke our gaze to rearrange the papers, straightening what was already in order.

“Bette?” my call captured her attention from the pages she absentmindedly touched. 

Looking at her directly I whispered back, “I miss you too.”

With the mutual admission our evening ended with a warm look that passed between us.