I stole a glance over at Bette but she’s seemingly engrossed in the paperwork in front of her. She was so despondent when we met in the foyer at the appointed hour. When I agreed to meet her, I half expected her to try to restate her case and be witness to a repeat performance of her pleadings and monotonous aria of apologies.

Instead, I got exactly what she described when we talked last week. Instead, we’re here, in a law office going over who gets what. She did as promised though; she tried to keep things light between us.

“Just so you know, I won’t ask you to forgive me today. Don’t say I’m as obtuse as I usually am – took me a while but I’ve detected the pattern!” We both managed to smile at her attempt at levity. “Thank you for coming. Let’s get through this together okay?”

I smiled in response and asked her how she was. Fine she said, then urged on by the occasion she continued sharing she’d been better. I echoed her sentiment when she inquired about my current state. I’m sure the sadness in her eyes was mirrored in mine.

Deep sadness pervades my body and mind; wishing things were different. That didn’t mean I was ready to just let things go and forget.

I shake myself back to the reality of today’s agenda and muster some defiance fueled by her indiscretion.  Yes, I was still angry.  I was devastated.  I was crushed.  My heart still ached, my whole being constricts at the thought of her with that woman. 

The carpenter who took down my life with deft precision with Bette as her implement. 

Bette’s lawyer interrupted my thoughts as he continued, calling us witness to our past union. The reference to us individually as ‘the party’, or both as ‘parties’ was grating on my last nerve. Wasn’t it supposed to denote celebration? 

Instead it conveyed unfeeling entities trapped in the coldness only a mortuary would dare hold. My vehemence for the word was percolating fueled by the intensity of the setting – everything was so…detached.

—

Whereas, the parties hereto acknowledged life partners, given certain circumstances have arisen between them rendering it undesirable for them to continue to live together, by reason whereof agree to live separate and apart permanently.