She continued to speak though with an uncertainty missing since the infancy of our relationship when she was still trying to ascertain whether to pursue our involvement. “Thanks again…for returning my call…for coming.  You look well and it was so nice seeing you.”

The lull in our conversation signaled its conclusion although I didn’t want it to end.  I’ve always loved the rhythm of her voice.  Even when she was ranting about things not going her way at work. 

Well, maybe not so much in the later years we were together. 

At some point, I’d resorted to interjecting an occasional ‘uh-huh’ but didn’t hear what she was saying anymore.  I’d taken for granted that she was sharing her life with me, especially since she personified herself so much in her work,  through those bouts of expressed frustration.  

But yes, her voice…I told her of my fascination with it after our second month together and her gift was to talk me to sleep on many nights – not that the topics she chose or her comments themselves were uninteresting. 

Quite the opposite actually, I had to fight succumbing to slumber trying to listen to her thoughts as she verbalized them for me in that voice I cherished.  Responding as much as I could to keep her talking although my mind and body were inevitably claimed by comforting rest. 

Soothed to surrender by my lover’s words.

I muttered something that I hope was an appropriate response to her attempted extraction from our current conversation; although I hadn’t really said much so maybe it didn’t qualify as one. 

My trance in her timbre, broken only when I heard her utter a hesitant and slightly puzzled “Okay then. Bye.”  She turned and started walking slowly toward the Saab.

My eyes coated with films of moisture. It dawned on me that she was walking away from me, for the first time really, since our breakup.  I had been the one to do so that night and many times after. 

Looking up, her back to me, I watched, acknowledging the meaningful impact of the growing distance between us.  With the weight and reminder of our loss, I turned to leave.  Having taken just three steps, she called out to me urging me to face her once more.