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The Starting Line: Chapter 22
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“Well, I’m fucking fine! I can take care of myself!”
“Really? Shane, you don’t look like you’re taking care of yourself right now. I’ve never seen you looking like this.”
“Joe, you haven’t fucking seen me since I was a kid! You have no room to tell me what I’m looking like or say a thing about my life!”
“Don’t yell at him, he’s just looking out for you. As am I. And I have seen you since then. And you don’t look good right now.”
I started pacing and pointed a finger at Bette.
“Don’t even think of starting to fucking judge me for my life! I can take care—“
“Of yourself, yes you say that a lot Shane. But have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately? You can’t keep this lifestyle up if you plan on making it to 25!”
I continued pacing. “What the fuck do you care? You don’t know what I do. I’m not killing myself or anything!”
“You’re not killing yourself?! Shane, every time you take a hit you are killing yourself a bit more. Every trip is another step backwards. I don’t want to see you the way I found you! I care about you too much!”
“You care about me?! So what, that gives you the right to come butt into my life?! I bet you two had a great conversation about me, right? Figured me out between what you both think you know? Is that it? And now you two are what, going to save me or something?!”
“Shane, please try to calm down. Yes, Bette and your friends care about you. Why does that scare you so much?”
“It doesn’t fucking scare me, and don’t tell me to calm down! What gives you the right to mess with my life?!”
“No one is messing or butting into your life Shane. We’re only trying to be a part of it. That’s what families do. They are part of each other’s lives. Which means when someone leaves, the others look for that person, worry about that person, hope their OK.”
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Awesome chapter! can’t wait to read more. Shane is such a complex character..you are writing her really well on your story.
Heartbreaking chapter, I shed a few tears myself. Love your writing as this story continues to be one of my favorites.
It hell when you know that you are loved by many,yet your pass gets in your way.Shane will need to learn to love herself and live for the present and a wonderful future
OMG! That was a fantastic fix. Gut wrenching. Emotional. Thank you! I love the drama but now I’m worried there won’t be as much, lol. Well, whatever comes next I look forward to with baited breath. Oh yeah, since you asked, I’m from Brisbane. :D
Whoa mama and OMG! This is a pivotal point in Shane’s life. I don’t know what led to it but I’ll sure read it now. Shane couldn’t have had a greater breakdown if she froze in the fetal position. And I would know.
simply stunning…I kept thinking, well screaming in my head “run”, I understand how letting go is supposed to cathardic, but damn getting ganged up on, even though they had the best intentions and Shane I know really needed to get it out to be able to grow..but still “run!” As always your story is a bright spot to my day, cheers!
Wow Kd, I read this story yesterday and couldn’t comment because it is so so heartbreaking. I still really don’t know what to say because what I really feel is something you may not want me to write in public. Anyway you sure can belt them out there. I am going to PM you. Md
This ripped my heart out. Absolutely devastating and so on the money with Father Joe and Bette and their actions and reactions. Bette’s saying “f***ing” absolutely illustrated her frustration and anger finally coming out at Shane and no longer walking on eggshells with her, which is necessary in a true relationship, though meaning no disrespect to the church or Father Joe. The only slightly false note is, I wish Alice hadn’t been there, or Bette had told Shane Alice was back there. I felt like Shane confided in Bette privately at all times, tina wasn’t even there, and now for her to come unglued in front of Alice..the MOUTH…especially as she didn’t know Alice was there.. It would have been hard enough for her to know she lost it with Father Joe and Bette as it was. I am not sure why Bette brought Alice anyway. I don’t know, maybe it’s just me. You said at the end that Alice was really there for Shane through the years but with as vulnerable as Shane is right now, and knowing Alice, I just wish she hadn’t been there. In all else…there are no words. I shall require more milk duds to help me through this.
another great and powerfull chapter !!!i was really thinking that shane was going to run.. pps
i have to say i have never been a big fan of shanes but i have read all of your chapters, and i think it is the best background and most personal account of her life i have read so far, great, great job!!!!!!!!!!