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The Starting Line: Chapter 22
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I wheeled on Bette and ran my hands through my hair. “I don’t need or want you guys pushing into my life! You don’t want to be part of that!”
Father Joe stayed seated but leaned forward, putting his elbows on his knees. “Be part of what exactly, Shane? What are you not telling us?”
I pulled at my hair. “I am not having this fucking conversation! How many times do I have to tell you guys that I don’t want to have this conversation!”
Bette put her hand on her forehead. “Shane, this is a conversation you need to have. What are you going to do? Keep running? You’re going to run out of places to go!”
“Not to mention that what you’re running from isn’t in a town, it’s in your head. No where you can run will get away from that and you know it.”
“Don’t tell me what is in my head! You said you knew everything, that you know what happened! If that’s true, then why the hell do I need to talk about it?!”
“Because, you need to get it out of that head of yours. Do I really know what happened back when we were in Austin? No, I don’t know details. But I have a pretty good idea.”
“As do I, Shane. From what you have told me, I can guess a lot of it.”
I paced back and forth, looking up and the looming figure of Jesus hanging above my head. “You had an idea of what happened, yet in all those years you knew me, you did nothing! Why?!”
“Shane, you wouldn’t talk about it! I couldn’t do anything unless you confirmed things, and you never would. You still aren’t! And if I had done something, what would it have accomplished? Pulling you out of yet another foster home? What if the next one had been worse?”
I laughed as I paced. “Trust me, some of them could not get worse!”
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Awesome chapter! can’t wait to read more. Shane is such a complex character..you are writing her really well on your story.
Heartbreaking chapter, I shed a few tears myself. Love your writing as this story continues to be one of my favorites.
It hell when you know that you are loved by many,yet your pass gets in your way.Shane will need to learn to love herself and live for the present and a wonderful future
OMG! That was a fantastic fix. Gut wrenching. Emotional. Thank you! I love the drama but now I’m worried there won’t be as much, lol. Well, whatever comes next I look forward to with baited breath. Oh yeah, since you asked, I’m from Brisbane. :D
Whoa mama and OMG! This is a pivotal point in Shane’s life. I don’t know what led to it but I’ll sure read it now. Shane couldn’t have had a greater breakdown if she froze in the fetal position. And I would know.
simply stunning…I kept thinking, well screaming in my head “run”, I understand how letting go is supposed to cathardic, but damn getting ganged up on, even though they had the best intentions and Shane I know really needed to get it out to be able to grow..but still “run!” As always your story is a bright spot to my day, cheers!
Wow Kd, I read this story yesterday and couldn’t comment because it is so so heartbreaking. I still really don’t know what to say because what I really feel is something you may not want me to write in public. Anyway you sure can belt them out there. I am going to PM you. Md
This ripped my heart out. Absolutely devastating and so on the money with Father Joe and Bette and their actions and reactions. Bette’s saying “f***ing” absolutely illustrated her frustration and anger finally coming out at Shane and no longer walking on eggshells with her, which is necessary in a true relationship, though meaning no disrespect to the church or Father Joe. The only slightly false note is, I wish Alice hadn’t been there, or Bette had told Shane Alice was back there. I felt like Shane confided in Bette privately at all times, tina wasn’t even there, and now for her to come unglued in front of Alice..the MOUTH…especially as she didn’t know Alice was there.. It would have been hard enough for her to know she lost it with Father Joe and Bette as it was. I am not sure why Bette brought Alice anyway. I don’t know, maybe it’s just me. You said at the end that Alice was really there for Shane through the years but with as vulnerable as Shane is right now, and knowing Alice, I just wish she hadn’t been there. In all else…there are no words. I shall require more milk duds to help me through this.
another great and powerfull chapter !!!i was really thinking that shane was going to run.. pps
i have to say i have never been a big fan of shanes but i have read all of your chapters, and i think it is the best background and most personal account of her life i have read so far, great, great job!!!!!!!!!!