Chapter 13

“Helena, I need to find her”, Carmen said, and there was a look of sudden concern painted on her face. It was all because of that destruction. It was all in that rage hidden in every uprooted drawer, in every disintegrated photograph, in that stomping all over things like Shane had suddenly refused them, ashamed and guilty as she felt.

Carmen threw another horrified look around and bit her bottom lip. Fear stung her, suddenly, like a razorblade cutting her deeply and tearing her insides apart.

“I know you have to…”, Helena replied quietly, her arms still folded, “…and I really hope you’ll find her…”.

And again those cryptic words, Helena closing her mouth abruptly, as if she was about to tell something and had changed her mind at the last second. Carmen perceived her frustration, her anxiety, despite it was well hidden under that smooth, offhand façade.

“What do you mean?”, Carmen asked, “There is something else I need to know, isn’t?”.

Helena sighed and her blue eyes fixed, absent-mindedly, the red carpet on the floor.

“Shane is a self-sabotager, Carmen. Shane can be the worst enemy of herself. Low self-esteem, discouragement, loss, loneliness… They seem to be her best friends. It doesn’t matter how many girls she has fucked, or how much money she has made. Shane is still the same flawed, shattered person I met five years ago. She needs help to find herself. She needs you”, Helena looked deeply into Carmen’s eyes, “You have to find her”.

Carmen swallowed.

“I don’t know her very well, yet. I would like to, but I don’t. I have no idea where she can be hiding”.

Helena scoffed bitterly.

“I’d like to tell you that you’ll find her on the seashore, walking melancholically and staring at the sea. But poetry is something that Shane has forgotten long time ago. Probably, she’s at Cherie Jaffe’s beach house, wasting away and trying hard to put aside her feelings for you”.

Carmen narrowed her eyes and her voice came out an octave higher.

“Who the hell is Cherie Jaffe?”.

”It’s been seven hours and fifteen days
Since you took your love away
I go out every night and sleep all day
Since you took your love away
Since you been gone I can do whatever I want
I can see whomever I choose
I can eat my dinner in a fancy restaurant
But nothing …
I said nothing can take away these blues,
‘Cause nothing compares …
Nothing compares to you…”