“I needed you too Bette. I needed to feel you, inside of me. It was like I couldn’t get close enough, I had to hold you closer and kiss you harder. Push you deeper inside and then for you to hold me afterwards, like you were never going to let me go. But it’s strange because at that moment I hated you, more than I’ve ever hated anyone.”

“Do you still hate me?” asked Bette, scared to hear the answer.

“Bette, you have to understand that hate only came about because I loved you so much. The one thing I never was towards you was indifferent, even the first night at the Bette Porter Gallery….”

“You took my breath away that night” said Bette, cutting in on Tina’s memory.

“And you’ve been taking my breath away ever since, but that’s what I’m talking about. If I can’t love you then I have to replace that emotion with something else, something equally as powerful.”

“So you do still hate me”

“I didn’t say that.”

“You didn’t have to.” replied Bette, resigned to losing Tina forever.

“Bette, listen to me. Love, hate two sides of the same coin and right now it’s easier for me to hate you, to feel angry towards you, for making me move to the other side of the Atlantic, away from all my friends, so that I don’t have to worry about running into you at The Planet, or where ever, but can’t you see that I wouldn’t feel all of this or done all the things that I’ve done since that night if I didn’t still love you.” said Tina, exasperated by her inability to make sense of all that she was feeling.

“So you love me and hate me at the same time?” asked Bette, confused.

“I know it’s irrational and there’s no logic in there at all but…I feel a long way from anything I know and I’m trying to figure how to get back there and to be honest Bette I don’t know if that includes you or not. I can’t make any promises.”

“After all the promises I’ve broken I don’t deserve to have any made to me.”

“No, you don’t. Not yet anyway. So, have you gone back to work yet?” asked Tina, hoping to move the conversation back onto safer ground.

“No. I can’t face it. Franklin, the board, everything. It’s the last thing I want to deal with.”

“So what do you plan on doing with yourself?”

“I could come and see you.” replied Bette, brightly.

“Nice try Bette, but I don’t think so.” laughed Tina, despite herself.

“Oh well, it was worth a go and besides when have you ever known me not to push my luck.”

“I think I need to go now, before you try pushing a little harder.”

“When will I hear from you again?” asked Bette, anxiously.

“Don’t sound so worried, it will be soon but I do have a job to do over here which requires at least some of my attention.”

“Bye T.”

“Bye Bette, and think about going back to work, it’ll be good for you.”

“I’ll think about it. Bye.” replied Bette.