” mummy im so sorry i ran away, i dont know why…..annyways i made a friend and his name was
Boris…from Russia. And he set me up with a place, a room sharing with one of his girlfriends, well not
even his girlfriends one of his hookers, he was a pimp but i was too….out of it to know, and um….well we
went there and it was pretty ok place, i mean it was obvious he had money but didnt want to flaunt it you know
what i mean, he was nice to me though. my “roomate” was a spanish mama with a baby from one of
her tricks, she was scary and i didnt want to share a room with her but i had to you know, i mean i didnt
know where to go. she scared me because as soon as i entered the room, i guess Boris told her already, she grabbed my arm and flung me on the
bed and growled that she expected me to keep to my own business and not to talk to her unless she wanted too. i
got the picture. other than that she was ok, i mean she helped me when i was crashing from the E Bender that
screwed me up a bit. but then after sleeping i got hungry and woke up not knowing where everybody went i mean
they were all gone, it was like in the middle of the friggin night, so i get up and look around and stuff, when i
hear “Juanita” that was her name, come up with someone else…he was a really blond guy like 30s maybe with
red skin from drinking…i figured it was one of her tricks…but i pretended to sleep…i was thirsty and tired and
had a headache from the E and to be honest mummy, i wanted more, i wanted not to care…mummy i wanted to go
home i really did but these feelings so many feelings were so knocking the stuffing out of me that i wanted more than not to care, not
to think about what i wanted because it hurt too much, anyways i have the covers over my head and i hear them talking and they’re
talking about a prce, he wanted a blow job and anal ***** but “juanita” told him no she didnt ***** only hand jobs or blow jobs, well
that guy didnt like that and he got a bit rough, juanita slapped him i heard a big loud crack and he fell to the floor hardlike and passed out he was
so drunk, juanita yelled at me to get up so idid adn i helped her drag him downstairs to the street..we left him out there and we went back in, juanita
was changing her baby’s diaper and stuff, she was angry because she didnt get any cash yet and she had to pay Boris by the end of the night and it was
3:30 am already, she was ina  talkative mood and asked me why i was here what was my story….i asked her to tell me hers first and she did….she was only
17, but few years ago she was living in the projects with two drug addicted parents and a grandfather who regularly raped her, she had a baby from him when
she was only twelve…he forced her to have an abortion and she was almost killed…she ran away and met Boris who took her in was nice to her then persuaded
her to hit the streets to rapy her debt to him while he supplied her with drugs. i was speechless i never heard anything like that you know and i asked where the
baby was from and she said it was from Boris he had contless kids but he was good and made sure they had food and diapers…he was rough only
when one of his girls crossed a line or were stupid. she asked me my story and i felt dumb….but i told it..she was quiet mommmy and it was scary-like..then she
pounced on me and punched me really hard in the chest, she was yelling at me how stupid i was and i should go back i was dumb and why did i run away
all that stuff all the while punching me…but not on my face. when she was done she just shook her head and toko her baby leaving…saying she had to go
tricking again adn if i wanted to come…i said no i dont want to trick and she said come anyway. i was too scared not to go i wanted to go home this wasn’t
what i wanted but i dont know….anyway i went with her and held her baby his name was “Carlos” and he was heavy, but i held him and soon this dude
stopped..he was a Viet with a bald spot on his head but he came up with us…i didnt know what to do with Carlos but juanita told me to come up, the guy
couldnt speak that much English but he didnt want me to watch and i didnt either but juanita told me to stay for Carlos and to make sure nothing happened to her…
i guess she never had a roomate and wanted to do that i dont know, so i turned around and stuff playing with Carlos..all i heard was unzipping and moaning, then
Carlos began to cry and i didnt know what to do so i turned around for help and i saw his thingy it was gross big long and veiny pink adn hairy and she was sucking on it
like alollipop…sorry mummy…but it was nasty and i almost puked…but i turned back around and tried to calm him down when the trick was finished he left and
Juanita after washing her mouth took Carlos and fed him froma bottle…i was getting bored and restless, then jaunita told me she was meeting Boris and i should
come, i had nothing to do so i did and we left, Boris was at another complex and when we saw him he asked what happened, i had dark bruises on my arm where
juanita hit me and when he found out he punched Jaunita, not on the face but on the collarbone and i heard a big snap and thats when i passed out, i hadn’t
eaten in so long and i was dizzy and scared but when i woke up Boris was putting a warm cloth on my forehead and was softly telling me it was going to be
alright and that he had something to make me feel better, it was a needle filled with brown stuff i said no i dont do drugs, at this everybody in the room laughed and
i felt stupid, Boris said ok that was alright, i felt bad becasue he did so much for me and was nice and all he wanted to do was make me feel better so i said ok, i cant
descirbe how it felt….it was good….so good….anyways i had like two more hits and then Boris dropped me of at my place, and when o came in, kind of
spaced out but not really i saw juanita with one f her trick and he was ***** her up the ***** i guess she does do that, but it was a horrible sight and i pue
ked
all over the floor, the man jumped out of jaunita and came over and he was about to knock me down but juanita stopped him and he beat her……i never
seen a real beating before it was horrible horrible horrible, blood was all over and he was pounding her head against the metal radiator…he was so angry
i never seen any one so angry, i was in shock i was blood dripped on the floor and juanita was twitching horribly and then she was still, but he was
still holding her hair and pounding her head against the radiator, her face was gone and her head was getting soft and not there….i ran away i ran down the
stairs out the door to a corner store…..i couldnt stand it anymore it was horrible i felt stupid for leaving i wanted to come home but i guess i was in shock and
i was pale and i kept seeing juanita get beaten and i really wanted a hit but i was shaking and so i smashed the mirror in the bathroom adn did it to myself,
i wanted to go home but i thought you would be so angry and i felt stupid and i wanted to be safe and i was tired and hungry, there was no way out no way out,mummy
i want things t be normal i want to go to school and be with my friends im sorry for everything….but i keep craving for a hit and i get the shivers and im so
sorry so sorry im so ***** sorry im such a loser….im 14 but i spent my birthday watching some sad woman being beaten and now im here and i feel
weird….but mummy i want to be normal i want to be with you and i want mom to be better i want her to be better”