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This is My Family…Chapter 36
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’My Darling Bette,
I’m writing this on our porch, i just came home after being diagnosed with cancer. The Doctor’s words has woken an urge in me to think about what should be done in the
event of my death…sometihng that i’m sure won’t happen now but when we are both old old old dry women. I dont really knoew what to do with this letter so im giving it to my lawyer, something
im sure you’ll disagree with but it feels wrong to give it you just now, i dont want to burden you with anything more. you are so wonderful, you are…..i dont even have the words to describe
how much i love you. Love…what a stupid word isn’t it? It’s meaning can’t have a word to label it, but we are stuck with English. Well, Bette, in the case of my demise i’ve stated in my
will that i want to be cremated but i didnt mention something else. I want a specific procedure to happen. I want you and Angelica and the gang to drive outside of LA to a field
on the crossroads…here’s the address. And i want you to walk east on the field until you get to a whole bunch of wild flowers, i come here sometimes to just think. It’s a beautful
place and one can’t hear the hum of traffic. I want each to bring a spoon, and after reading out my last words, its attached, i want each person to come up to flowers and spread some
of my ashes to the flowers. When they are finished i want you to spread the remaining. Celebrate, don’t cry. I want to go back to the earth that i’ve come to love so much. It’s peaceful and better than
rotting in some box. I know you will do this so thank you. As for Angelica….love her Bette, love her so she knows. But remember to not be her best buddy, she has friends for that. You
and Angelica are the pillars in my life, my love for you both can fill the ocean and then some. Its weird how it can fit in my heart though. I’ll probably give this to you after my treatment
so it is all understood. My love, My darling i don’t intend to die until we are both too old to fight, i want us to rock on our chairs on the porch admiring my garden, watching Angelica grow
and live. Remember too Bette, don’t take everything so seriously, there are times when laughter is the only appropriate thing to do.
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SO SAD, I HAD TO STOP AND TAKE A BREAK…FABULOUS JOB..IT’S NOT EASY TO LOSE SOMEONE YOU LOVE..THANKS..
thank you for writing a story that is so totally different from all the rest (especially one that never seems to end). the story is truly touching and you wrote ‘death’ as a beautiful release rather than something morbid and sad. the love of these two people will forever lives on. pls give courage to bette and angie to move on and ensure that angie comes out a better and even perhaps a part of tina’s strength in her and as for bette, let her be strong and firm with angie but at the same time, love angie with the same love she had for her mother and nurture her to be the person that tina would want angie to grow up to be. :D
Profound, you write very well
I don’t comment often…but I just had to tell you how amazing this story is. I’ve been choked up more than once when reading the past few chapters. Wonderful story, please continue.
“Life was beautiful”…
And so is your writing.
Even if my eyes are full of tears, even if the thought of such a final goodbye to someone so deeply cherished is something incredibly moving, your magnificent way to bring sweetness of Nature’s simple beauties in the middle of the saddest event that can ever happened is something admirable.
Thank you for your few personal words about your especially deep connection with such event. That’s what I felt indeed : nobody could write this way without having cross mourning time.
As you show so well, someone who was truly loved will stay alive in hearts and minds : that’s the only possible eternity – and so your father is still alive too, thanks to you and people who loved him.
Love and memories are timeless – more powerful then death itself. That’s the big comforting thought…
Thank you, Cassandra, and cheer up.
very sad and wonderful story Cassandra. I had to stop reading twice to stop the tears. very powerful. peace and love to you.
This is so touching and I am in tears. I hope Bette and Angie can move on and celebrate Tina’s life.
From an Angel on high
a tender message of love was softly whispered into the ear
of this humble scribe….
Weep not for me
now that I have passed.
Remember the laughter, the affection, the joy
not just the recent tears.
Cherish the memories, our hopes and dreams.
Hold fast to the love that we shared.
Be happy with the time we spent together
and being anew.
For I am not really gone,
I am closer than ever before.
As the morning sun rises
and throughout the busy day…I am with you.
Until the setting sun disappears on the horizon
and we watch the day turn into night…I am here.
You may feel a faint breeze stir round your head, while you slumber
as I gently kiss your forehead, “Good night.”
The stars that shine so brightly in my heavenly sky
help me watch over you and keep you from harm.
I am the wind in the trees
and the song of a bird.
I am moonbeams in a midnight sky
and a glorious rainbow after the storm.
I am morning dew
and freshly-fallen snow.
I am a butterfly flying overhead
and a puppy happily at play.
I am a smile on a stranger’s face
a gentle touch
a warm embrace.
Listen to the wind for my message of love.
Watch the sun rise and set in the sky with me.
Feel my essence encircle you with warm memories.
Open your heart to know…I am not gone.
Reach deep into your soul…You will find me.
I am here.
Have no fear.
I am with you,
Always.
My Bother
(1962-1993)
couldn’t comment had to cry first and breathe your a wonderful writer and woman to put so much feelings into this story the shock and pain will go away in time to a certain degree-it’s been 15 yrs since my dad died and i can still cry a drop of the hat-but all the readers will survive right along with bette and and angie keep writing expecting great things to come
Cass,
Thank you so much for sharing this horrendous moment in your life and for making it inspirational.
I only hope that writing it give you comfort and strength as it does to your readers.
Be strong.
Your loyal fan.
PS – Keep ’em coming as this story is soo addictive.
Sniff! Sniff OMG! Hey Cass OMG I’m crying too Yes this is really Sad It’s so BREATHTAKING TO READ I’m really Sad and it’s breaking MY Heart to read OMG! Cass Thank you It’s really Beautiful written as Always her to read you’re Story Please continue.
Wow ur description of such a sad event was so beautiful, I forgot to mourn Tina. It’s as if her death is a beautiful transition — nothing to cry over but be celebrated because now they had the garden to enjoy and be with Tina in a beautiful, serene place. Thank you for a obviously different but great story.
This sucks !!!!!!!!!!! but I can”t not read it if that makes any sense