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This is My Family…Chapter 36
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T.’
Bette finds Angelica in her bedroom. She is tired of being host and is resting on her bed when Bette knocks and comes in. She sits on the bed and reaches to touch Angie, who
lets her..who is too tired not to. Bette touches Angie’s hair and shoulders and arms…this is a part of Tina, Tina’s own felsh and blood. Bette gritted her teeth and swore to a non-existent God
that she would always cherish and protect Angelica, their daughter…hers and Tina’s. As if knowing what her mommy was thinking Angelica turns her body around and opens her arms,
there are paths of tear-stains donw her cheeks and she feels lonely. The house is full but she feels lonely, because her mom is gone. And is feels strange, unreal…but it sunk in when
Angie saw the vases, containing the burnt remains, the soft silky ashes. But that was all right, Angelica herself would want to be cremated also. It was practical and better than
taking up space and becoming worm’s meat. But what wasn’t alright was the fact that Angelica would never be able to hug her mom anymore, so she hugged her living mom and
cried against her shoulder.
The field itself was beautiful. The sky streched blue like a blanket over them. And the gang stood still, taking in what was about to happen. Bette insisted on going right
away….she had to do it today or there was going to be no way she would be able to let go of the vase. The entire way driving out here Bette held it, not letting go. Others understood
and nothing was said about it. Bette went in front of the wild flowers and faced her lifelong friends and family. She took out the second page of Tina’s letter and cleared her throat, not
trusting her voice…….”my dear friends, family….i want you to celebrate my life, not cry over something that happens everyday and will happen to all of you. Please, look at these flowers
and think how i will now be among them forever, i’m going back into the earth, back in the endless cycle. I’ll always be with you and don’t forget me…..i love you.” There was crying
though, and Bette’s voice broke throughout her reading. Angelica stood slightly apart, her head was down adn her eyes focused on one elegant flower. And so each of them, one
by one dipped their spoon in the vase and threw out there arm. The ashes going with wind a little bit then going down in the flowers, disappearing. One by one they went, some
muttering their own goodbyes, private goodbyes…and private tears…all reserved for a person who touched each in different ways. Eventually the vase was handed to Bette, who
held the vases, kissed the coolness of it……..”Goodbye my darling”…..and gently threw the rest out onto the flowers Tina came to love. The entire thing was amazing, Bette was in awe
at how much it effected her…she was actually saying goodbye. And tommorrow would be the first day truly without T. Bette walked over to Angelica and put her arm over that bony
shoulder. They stood there for what seemed ages, nobody talking, nobody moving. Just silently paying tribute to a very special person. And one by one they left, until only Bette and
Angelica were left. they stayed there until the sun turned into a pink splash of dawn…then Angelica kissed her mom and left. Bette was left….she stood there until a noise made her
look up….a flock of birds were flying over the field…dipping and moving together. They looked like mosquitos…all together. Bette looked back at Tina’s last spot. Life was beautiful.
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SO SAD, I HAD TO STOP AND TAKE A BREAK…FABULOUS JOB..IT’S NOT EASY TO LOSE SOMEONE YOU LOVE..THANKS..
thank you for writing a story that is so totally different from all the rest (especially one that never seems to end). the story is truly touching and you wrote ‘death’ as a beautiful release rather than something morbid and sad. the love of these two people will forever lives on. pls give courage to bette and angie to move on and ensure that angie comes out a better and even perhaps a part of tina’s strength in her and as for bette, let her be strong and firm with angie but at the same time, love angie with the same love she had for her mother and nurture her to be the person that tina would want angie to grow up to be. :D
Profound, you write very well
I don’t comment often…but I just had to tell you how amazing this story is. I’ve been choked up more than once when reading the past few chapters. Wonderful story, please continue.
“Life was beautiful”…
And so is your writing.
Even if my eyes are full of tears, even if the thought of such a final goodbye to someone so deeply cherished is something incredibly moving, your magnificent way to bring sweetness of Nature’s simple beauties in the middle of the saddest event that can ever happened is something admirable.
Thank you for your few personal words about your especially deep connection with such event. That’s what I felt indeed : nobody could write this way without having cross mourning time.
As you show so well, someone who was truly loved will stay alive in hearts and minds : that’s the only possible eternity – and so your father is still alive too, thanks to you and people who loved him.
Love and memories are timeless – more powerful then death itself. That’s the big comforting thought…
Thank you, Cassandra, and cheer up.
very sad and wonderful story Cassandra. I had to stop reading twice to stop the tears. very powerful. peace and love to you.
This is so touching and I am in tears. I hope Bette and Angie can move on and celebrate Tina’s life.
From an Angel on high
a tender message of love was softly whispered into the ear
of this humble scribe….
Weep not for me
now that I have passed.
Remember the laughter, the affection, the joy
not just the recent tears.
Cherish the memories, our hopes and dreams.
Hold fast to the love that we shared.
Be happy with the time we spent together
and being anew.
For I am not really gone,
I am closer than ever before.
As the morning sun rises
and throughout the busy day…I am with you.
Until the setting sun disappears on the horizon
and we watch the day turn into night…I am here.
You may feel a faint breeze stir round your head, while you slumber
as I gently kiss your forehead, “Good night.”
The stars that shine so brightly in my heavenly sky
help me watch over you and keep you from harm.
I am the wind in the trees
and the song of a bird.
I am moonbeams in a midnight sky
and a glorious rainbow after the storm.
I am morning dew
and freshly-fallen snow.
I am a butterfly flying overhead
and a puppy happily at play.
I am a smile on a stranger’s face
a gentle touch
a warm embrace.
Listen to the wind for my message of love.
Watch the sun rise and set in the sky with me.
Feel my essence encircle you with warm memories.
Open your heart to know…I am not gone.
Reach deep into your soul…You will find me.
I am here.
Have no fear.
I am with you,
Always.
My Bother
(1962-1993)
couldn’t comment had to cry first and breathe your a wonderful writer and woman to put so much feelings into this story the shock and pain will go away in time to a certain degree-it’s been 15 yrs since my dad died and i can still cry a drop of the hat-but all the readers will survive right along with bette and and angie keep writing expecting great things to come
Cass,
Thank you so much for sharing this horrendous moment in your life and for making it inspirational.
I only hope that writing it give you comfort and strength as it does to your readers.
Be strong.
Your loyal fan.
PS – Keep ’em coming as this story is soo addictive.
Sniff! Sniff OMG! Hey Cass OMG I’m crying too Yes this is really Sad It’s so BREATHTAKING TO READ I’m really Sad and it’s breaking MY Heart to read OMG! Cass Thank you It’s really Beautiful written as Always her to read you’re Story Please continue.
Wow ur description of such a sad event was so beautiful, I forgot to mourn Tina. It’s as if her death is a beautiful transition — nothing to cry over but be celebrated because now they had the garden to enjoy and be with Tina in a beautiful, serene place. Thank you for a obviously different but great story.
This sucks !!!!!!!!!!! but I can”t not read it if that makes any sense