[PROLOGUE]

“Do you think we are ready for this?” the man asked in his deep voice that once sent shivers down her spine. She swallowed and tried to look in his eyes, but she couldn’t. Panic was a cruel monster in her chest, gnawing all her secureties away. She felt the tears threatening to spill, but swallowed them away. After a while, she found the ability to speak. Her voice was trembling as she took the decision that would change her life, the decision she may regret later… the decision she would regret later. It was so strange that she was doing this when she knew what it meant, how it would turn out. Always did she know how it would turn out, but she could never decide against it. She always knew what would happen and she always had to suffer in silence. She always knew what would happen, but she could never change it.
“Yes. I’m sure. I’m absolutely sure.” A smile graced her face, a smile she wished would appear genuine to him. She couldn’t bring herself to unwrap his arms from around her waist, she couldn’t bring herself to escape his approaching lips. It was almost impossible to breathe as the intention of kissing changed into the reality of it. She uttered a soft moan as she always did, to make him believe that she liked what he was doing to her. She didn’t have the heart to disappoint him, not with what was in the near future for him. She wondered again if there was anything she could to protect him, to stop it from happening, to turn it all into a nightmare. If she could do anything to just wake up now, safely in his arms… she bit her lower lip and bowed her head. It was and would aways be impossible. It was a curse to know the future and not be able to do anything about it. She had rather been oblivious to it, she had rather not known. The shock would be so insuperable, her heart would be ripped apart and she wouldn’t believe it, she would refuse to believe it, she would scream for the world to hear her pain… and it would happen all the same.
It wasn’t true that now that she knew, she was able to prepare herself for it. It only made things worse, it made her feel sick at the pit of her stomach. She felt guilty for what was to come, however ridiculous that was. She felt as if it was she that did it do him and not Mother Nature, fate, God, whatever you wanted to call it. She felt as if it was her own fault. She had never felt the urge to break the rules like this, never felt the urge to step up, to clear her throat and to tell him not to go, never to go. He was a pragmatic man, sober. He wouldn’t believe her, he would laugh it all away and tell her she read too many books and watched too many movies. To make his point, he would hurry even more, just to prove she was wrong, while she had never been more right.
“Let’s go then,” he said, softly stroking her cheek with the back of his hand. She felt her body trembling and her hope that he wouldn’t notice it was in vain.
“What’s the matter? I need to be absolutely sure that you are ready to do this, to step into this adventure.”
The irony was cruel. He had no idea what adventure he was about to step into.
“I’m fine, really. Let’s just go, please.” Let’s just get it over with. She admonished herself for these thoughts, she wasn’t supposed to give up, not yet. There was a small chance she could still do something. She shook her head – no, the consequences would ruin too many lives. She didn’t even know how many there would be, in what matter they would change, who the lives belonged to…
“Okay, honey.” He smiled brightly, his eyes sparkling. His brown, reassuring eyes. For the last time, she combed through his curly brown hair. She touched his mocha skin, her finger trailing his bottom lip… his delicious lips, how she would miss them. She would never forget them, never.
“I… I love you,” she uttered. She couldn’t keep the tears to herself anymore, her inner bomb exploded and it was killing her she couldn’t just tell him. She would have given her life just to be able to tell him and it enraged her that it wouldn’t matter, because her punishment would be worse than death if she did tell… her punishment would be immortality.
“I love you, Peter.”