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Tina’s Contemplation
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When we made the decision to start a family, I was ready to give up the career to become a stay-at-home mom. I just wasn’t prepared for how I would react when I couldn’t get pregnant right away. When I quit my job as a movie executive, I thought I could just shed the power suits and slip into my new role as a mother but when I didn’t conceive, I lost both identities. I depended on Bette to define me. I only saw myself as her life partner. Eventually Tina Kennard the independent career woman faded away.
I know it was unfair of me to expect my wife to take on that burden in addition to the financial, emotional, and physical support that she was already giving me especially when I wasn’t reciprocating. In a way I resented her for having a life outside of our relationship.
She hated her job at the CAC, but at least she was out of the house doing something. All I did was stay home and wait. I had nothing to occupy myself except preparing my body for a pregnancy that I thought would never happen.
It wasn’t until I started volunteering at the center that my self-esteem and sense of self-worth improved. I realized I wasn’t a failure. The problem was that I took it to the other extreme. I went from being co-dependent to totally independent. I shut Bette out completely instead of striving for the inter-dependency we’d lost. We didn’t get that back until we started co-parenting Angie. By then it was too late for us as a couple or at least we never gave it a try as a couple.”
“So, you wanted to define yourself. Have a life of your own independent of Bette?”
“I wasn’t getting what I needed from her, but I didn’t know how to communicate it to her.”
“What do you think you needed from her that you weren’t getting?”
“I think I needed her to tell me it was OK. I needed to know that she would still love and desire me even if I never had a baby. I felt that I had to have this baby in order to keep her. Every time the insemination failed; I felt her drifting further away not realizing I was also pushing her away. She made several attempts to reconnect with me, but I was too self-absorbed. I never gave her a chance.”
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Wow! Peggy uploaded a whole box of evil. Helena is Pandora. Great stuff.
This has always been one of my favorite stories. I really do love it. I certainly hope Tina is successful with Emma and figures out the hold Helena still has over her. Because as sure as the sun is going to rise Helena Peabody is not through with Tina and not through with Bette either. Her plotting continues. After everything Peggy shared with Tina she still has lingering sympathy for Helena. She’s not only turning a blind eye but right now Tina is also deaf and dumb. Just don’t get it. She has got to figure this out quickly and definitively. Or she and Bette cannot be together. In your version of our beloved couple Bette is far too forgiving. Bette has got to take a stand. She has forgiven Tina everything. It seems impossible that Tina is still so stuck in this position and thinking about Helena in any kind of positive way. Peggy really laid it all out there. What more has to happen? Bette has made it clear. Angie in danger? Bette almost killed? What is Tina’s bridge too far to cut ties with Helena?
Wow, Peggy all but hit Tina with a two by four with the truth about Helena. It appears that Tina has at least up to this point refused to believe Bette and her perception and analysis of Helena. It appears that Tina simply did not at least to this point comprehend that to Helena is truly an evil person, Bette is the prey and Tina is the bait. The bottom line is that what Tina perceived as love, adulation and concern was nothing more than manipulations to achieve the desired result – destroy Bette Potter. Has Helena learned her lesson since she has been institutionalized? Not by a long shot… I wonder if Tina realizes that she left Bette to be treated as a pawn on chess board. And Angie will be used as another in order to get to and destroy Bette. Most people who find out that everything they believe is not true would go into some anger storm against the one who manipulated them into that belief. Helena almost took Bette completely out of Tina’s life. Does this not mean something? And it cannot be assumed that it is over and its water under the bridge. As a mother she needs realize that a mother would not do something as drastic for Peggy to disinherit and disown her only child unless she believed that the other members or her family were not in danger of being harmed in the present not just the past. And what get me is that Peggy has said that Helena is unremorseful for her behavior- UNREMORSEFUL!!! That means she will do it again.
I am concerned about Tina….. she about to have another child. She loves Bette and Angie more than life itself. But she has this self-destructive trait which can rise to surface at any given moment… this trait which allows her to turn her back on all she loves and try another path in order to prove to herself that she is an independent, self sufficient worth while person. And yet all that seems such an illusion. Tina does need therapy…. Tina needs to deal with what is…. in a realistic and honest manner. And if begins by realizing that Helena manipulated and played her big time and will do it again. Bette may not be a perfect, but she has never forced Tina to be or do something that she did not want to do or be. Tina has drawn conclusions based on conversations with herself. She has made a lot of false assumptions with no basis in fact. Those are habits and practices she must change or she and Bette will have many problems in the future.
The success and future of Bette and Tina are right now at a crossroads and is very dependent on Tina and how she handles this Helena situation. There is hope that Tina will make the right moves since she questions how she could have been so taken in by Helena.
Thanks for this chapter…. this is a really good story… I hope that you write some more on this one soon. I am really curious how this turns out. I love Bette and Tina together and somehow believe that Tina will find a way to understand what Peggy and Bette fear in Helena and how dangerous she is. And since she is now going to have another child, its important that all of this be resolved before they have this new baby.
Thankyou….thankyou…
Excellent comments Martha. Very well said. I agree with all of it. Bette and Tina are at a crossroad. And I worry about Tina as well. My guess? She is still not entirely convinced but getting there. And the real issue is why can’t she accept what is right in front of her? It’s not like she is the only person Helena manipulated. But Tina walked away from her marriage for Helena. Maybe she just can’t accept that she did that. But yes, she has to protect herself and the baby and Angie and Bette.
Wow!! This is a great Chapter in a brilliant story.
I could just repeat the points raised in Billy’s and Martha’s comments and do but particularly I repeat and endorse Martha’s last two paragraphs.
Thank you for this Chapter and this Story and, please, please post the next chapter soon.
So good to see a update on this story!
I agree with Billy, Martha and SassyGran comments!
I couldn’t have said it better.
I truly wonder what will make Tina see what a dangerous woman Helena is. Has she indeed some sort of kindred spirit? I think she does, look how she treated and hurt Bette deeply, she has admitted it her behavior was the total opposite when she was with Helena and how she was when she was with Bette and that she didn’t want to be the Tina she became when she was with Helena but still it is something that is in her. There is hope for her but she is in danger to lose Bette and her family if she doesn’t deal with it asap, why she still feels compassion for Helena. I really hope with the help of Emma she can figure it out. I love Bette and Tina together but Tina’s still lingering feeling of compassion for Helena is a very big threat for their relationship.
I truly love this story! I hope you will update soon!
And how many times can/will Bette look the other way? I guarantee you if the baby or Angie are put in any danger because Tina refuses to see it, Bette will take definitive action. As will Peggy. Bette loves Tina so much but Tina does seem like a split personality. Is there really another Tina? A kindred spirit to Helena? Tina’s hesitation seems like such a slap in the face to Bette. Tina needs major therapy.
I agree with all of the comments made by everyone. One thing is for sure and that is we are seeing how self destructive Tina really is. She needs to double up on therapy sessions before she has a complete breakdown and loses Bette forever.
Amen!
Ready to update this fantastic story yet?
Eu amei essa história até agora.
Será que podemos ter esperanças por atualizações?