Helena is still using you to fuck with me Tina. If you want to work for that bitch so be it but you don’t support me with her money. I’ll be damned if I’m going to ask your permission to buy an item of clothing for my meditations or anything else. I’ve never given you reason to think I can’t provide for my daughter. As for Angie the only thing she’s lacking is time and attention from her other mother. If you get a sitter tonight I’ll pay for it but you might consider pumping some breast milk before you run off to watch movies with fucking Josh Becker unless feeding your daughter doesn’t take priority over work either.”

Bette had allowed Tina’s rants and raves about money but that was about to come to a complete halt. They were financially solid even without Tina’s income. Moreover Bette was not so irresponsible that she would ever jeopardize the family’s well-being on principle. She’d been working with Julia, who was not only a dear friend, but her spiritual adviser, mentor, and counselor to prospect several top positions in the art world. If Julia’s news this evening was what she was expecting she had some tough decisions to make. She hoped the meditation would give her some clarity. She sure needed it.

***

Ignoring Tina Bette walked over to the bed and kissed Angie on the forehead and told her that she loved her. The little girl smiled at her mother and touched her face. Bette kissed the little fingers then walked out of the room and out of the house without a second glance. Tina heard the car pull out of the drive as tears streamed down her face. She’d gotten so used to a subservient Bette that she didn’t know how to respond to this angry Bette. Had she pushed her too far this time?

Tina picked up her cell phone and called Josh Becker. Screening the movies could wait and be done during business hours. The plan for tonight was just a veiled excuse to spend time together. They hadn’t yet crossed the line in their professional relationship but they were getting dangerously close to personal. It was probably for the best that she had to cancel because watching movies in a darkened media room with a man she was sexually attracted to probably wasn’t the best idea, especially given how shaky her relationship with Bette was right now.

Tina sat in the rocker in Angie’s nursery and held her daughter in her lap while she loosened the nursing bra and guided the nipple to the baby’s mouth. The little girl looked up at her mother with inquiring light hazel green eyes and smiled as she suckled hungrily. Tina hadn’t realized how long it had been since she’d actually breastfed Angie as opposed to pumping the breast milk and leaving the feedings to Bette.

Was Bette right … had Tina really become so insular that she was neglecting her own daughter? Could she really have preferred to spend an evening with Josh Becker rather than this beautiful angel that so reminded her of Bette Porter?

What about these feelings for men? Was DaddyOf2 just a transitional object? Was her sexual attraction to Josh Becker just a passing fancy? Did she really want to go back to men? Would she be happier and more fulfilled with a man? Could a man offer her a better life? What about their daughter? She could never separate Angie from her other mother; that was the only thing she was sure of. She had everything she needed with this family … why wasn’t she happy? What more could she want?