“I’m sorry,” he unnecessarily apologized. “I just… I want you to be happy. I want this to work for you. And I think your chances of making this last will improve if you just come clean to the Dean.”

Tom’s eyes spoke of the honesty of his words. She remembered the conversations they had when Bette was still after her asking for a second chance; she had no doubt he truthfully wanted to see them work out. She couldn’t hold this against him; he was just being a good friend.

“I’ll think about it,” she replied, surprising herself with her own honesty.

Tom looked directly into her eyes, as if trying to see if he had set the wheels on Jodi’s head on the right path. He finally gave her a small smile, seemingly satisfied… at least for now.

“Can I go and finish packing?”

Jodi replied with a nod.

“I’ll be back around nine. Will bring Chinese…” And with that, Tom left her apartment, leaving her alone with her papers, his pen, and her thoughts.

What if he was right? What if what happened in her past was affecting the relationship she was trying to build with Bette?

Who the fuck was she trying to kid? What happened with Mary and Alex had already cast a shadow over her newest relationship! How else could she explain the insensitive comment about children she blurted during their first date after learning about little Angie? It had almost cost her the relationship before there even was one.

But what would Bette’s reaction be after learning the truth?

She thought about that beautiful face… and those haunting eyes…

Jodi couldn’t bear the thought of having those eyes look at her with nothing but disappointment.

Only then did she notice that she had been tapping the tip of Tom’s pen to the blank page in front of her. The ink had made a splotch on the white sheet. And in that small blue dot, the artist found inspiration.

From the Desk of Jodi Lerner

My dearest,

I’m not sure why I’m writing you this. I know that it would be better to talk face to face about this subject. But I’m worried that, if the time comes, my courage might fail me.

So I hope that when you read this, you can hear my voice and you can know that my words are honest and my intentions pure.

You have become such an important part of my life… you and your little girl. I can’t tell you without qualms that I honestly believe we have a beautiful future together.

Which is why I’m so afraid of ruining it by telling you my story.