The house phone rang and she almost jumped out of her skin in surprise. Scowling at herself she picked it up and answered with a gruff “Hello?”

“Shane?” the voice sounded familiar to her but she just couldn’t remember from where.

“Yeah, who is this?”

“Hey it’s me, Clive.”

‘Oh ***** me.’

She thought he had seen the last of Clive when she gave him that bullet at the club a year or so ago. A skinny boy who was slightly taller then Shane, he reminded her of those blow-up men that stores use for special occasions like grand-openings; a helpless soul who was all smiles on the outside but who was devoid of any substance on the inside, just blowing in the wind.

She cursed herself for her sentimental thoughts ‘This guy helped me ruin my life for five years.’ “How did you get my number?”

“Whoa calm down there. One your hookups gave it to me. I heard you found a steady girl now.”

‘Why would he mention that?… He’s looking for a bargaining chip the son of a *****.’ “What do you want Clive?” She didn’t want to tell him anything about Carmen, she was afraid he would use it against her somehow.

“Why the ***** do I have to want something from you man? Why can’t I just call to say hi?”

“Because we never had that kind of friendship. It was always ‘Shane, you got some blow? Shane, you got some cash? Shane, you got some food? Shane, watch my back?’ You never cared about anyone or anything except for yourself and your ***** fix so ***** you Clive. I know how you work.”

“***** you Shane. You might know me but I know what you really are and where you ***** came from. I know how ugly and dirty you are underneath your new shiny exterior and I can’t help but wonder what your friends and your new girlfriend would think if they knew the truth.”

Fear. Paralyzing fear swept through Shane. She had to brace herself on the wall because she couldn’t trust her legs to hold her up. She felt so weak, so small, so broken. Clive had brought up her greatest shame and practically threatened to use it against her to achieve his ensd. ‘Carmen… Carmen would never speak to me again if she knew about the ***** I’ve done. Bette and Tina already know but Alice and Dana and Jenny and Mark have no clue. What if they kick me out of the house? What if they never talk to me again?’