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Truly, Madly, Deeply
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Shane hadn’t seen Carmen since taking Jenny to the hospital. Even then, she was so caught up in trying to figure out what happened the night before and worrying over Jenny that she basically ignored her. These past few days found Shane procrastinating over picking up the phone and calling Carmen, making whatever excuse she could to leave it until later. ‘***** it, I haven’t spoken to her in 2 days, I need to stop being such a *****’.
Taking out her cell phone she speed dialed Carmen’s number.
“Hello?”
Shane couldn’t help but smile when she heard her voice, it was as if all the problems in the world melted away when she spoke. “Hey it’s Shane”.
“Hey babe how are you?”
“I’m alright and yourself?”
“I’m good, I just got off the phone with Jenny”
“Really? How’s she doing”
“Doing fine but she says the food resembles a cross between bullshit and horse *****”
Shane chuckled softly “Well at least she’s ok. So, um, I wanted to know if you wanted to chill a bit later today, that’s if you’re not to busy”. ‘Please don’t be busy’.
“Yeah, sure, I’m off work at 5:30 so you could come pick me up say… 7:00?”
“It’s a date,” she let the words slip before she had a chance to think about what she said and was going to retract the statement when she cut off by a…
“Great! See ya later Suga Buns” and then the sound of the phone clicking.
Carmen had said those last words in such a playful ***** tone that it made butterflies go into a frenzy in Shanes stomach. She stood there, mouth slightly agape, staring at the phone until she mentally slapped herself back into reality. ‘The things this girl does to me’. Shaking her head of the cobwebs she threw on her jacket, grabbed her keys, and went out to go shopping.
—————————————————–
After unloading the groceries into the fridge, Shane sat down to have a much needed smoke break. The smoke drifted from the tip of her cigarette much like how her thoughts drifted back to her trip to the market. Driving down Olympic in her silver Jeep, she had the stereo blaring Hot Hot Heat and her hands slapping the steering wheel to the rhythm. She was so lost in the music that she almost hit someone, a tall mocha skinned person in a sweatshirt and jeans. She couldn’t tell if it was a man or a woman but what she did notice was a scar that ran from a bit above the persons eyebrow to the middle of their cheek. She mouthed a steady stream of apologies but the person just smiled slightly, said she was ok and walked off. The rest of the ride Shane was a lot more careful with her driving and arrived at the store with out further incident.
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You did an excellent job of getting inside Shane’s mind. How you wrote it really captured my attention right away. Kudos. And ending it where you did, really has me craving more of this. :DAnd as for criticisms – I can’t think of any. Have you thought about getting inside Carmen’s head too by the way? Could be interesting to see how their relationship is looked at from her POV as well; see both their thoughts and insecurities.I agree with the other comments here: we need more Shane & Carmen stories. :D I like this one, and I hope you continue on it.
Great chapter, If you hadn’t told I would have never guessed this was your first attempt at writing. Good job and keep it going. We need more Shane/Carmen stories.
If this really was your first story it was damn good!!!Hope you´ll go on soon!!
Great story! Sharmen fics are the best. and yours is a very good one!
VIRGIN? VIRGIN MY ASS!!! IF THIS WAS YOUR FIRST TIME IT WAS VERY GOOD.I’ VE BEEN DYING FOR SOME SHANE CARMEN STORIES.PLEASE CONTINUE THIS WAS GREAT!!!!!!PEACE.
well i know EXACTLY how you feel cos i just posted for the first time as well. I haven’t stood up yet because i’m not sure if i can. I like your story — you seem to have captured Shane which isn’t easy. Hope it goes well.
Great start. Love Sharmen fics. Love how you’re writing from Shane’s p.o.v. Post soon.
yay another Shane story! Good job and keep posting :)
Fabulous. I could totally see this whole scene in my head. Thanks!
Wow! 1st time for you? Doesnt seem so to me. And yes!! I agree with debs21221 that this place needs more Shane & Carmen stories, please.
Bring it on girl!! totally hooked here =) Shane / Carmen story = much needed ;)
wow…wow…i have nothing else to say. well, i agree with livvy82 about getting carmen’s pov. and yeah there needs to be more shane/carmen stories. as much as i love danish, there are just too many of their stories. post soon please!