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    Uncharted Territory

    ‘I’m aware that I broke your heart, I will regret it forever.’ She pants narrowing the distance between us, leaving Pont des Arts behind as I turn right. ‘I wish I would be the only one to carry that burden. I’m your wife I of all people should have been the one to spare you pain.’

    She should have spared herself the humiliation of being called out and being asked to explain herself by anyone but me. Of course there where women before me, although I always preferred not to think about them. After she met me there should have been no other. Now there is someone who probably looked at her today, let her eyes linger, while recalling how soft her skin is, how her lips taste and fully aware of what her touch is capable of. My wife. My vision turns foggy as zigzagged lines appear at the corners and I stagger briefly before grabbing a hold of the traffic light. The red light elicits pins and needles jabbing my temples and I rub my forehead. ‘My fucking god the nerve… asking you for a drink.’

    Her footsteps stop next to me though respecting my space. ‘Do you have a headache?’

    I wince at her caring tone. When the aura in the corners of my eyes changes to green, I pass the street. A small group of teenagers passes me by, their loud carelessness that comes with youth, taunts my patience and vibrates in the back of my head. At the last moment I avoid the flooded street gutter that covers half of the pavement. She doesn’t, her jeans glue to her legs and her boots must be sodden. I zip up my jacket when she shivers. ‘Why did you change before you came to me? This morning when you left my place you were wearing that…that black dress. Did she appreciate it as much as I did?’

    ‘You’re searching for something that isn’t there. Please stop torturing yourself.’ Her timbre is hoarse as she pleads. ‘But I get it the trust is broken. I see it in the way your look wanders off sometimes when you’re with me as if you’d rather be somewhere else. I feel it in the way you touch me as if you’re searching for someone that you once knew. It’s in all the words you can’t express. And me, in my turn, I’m afraid I lost the privilege to all the beautiful pieces that make you-you.’ She adds without missing a beat as if knowing every single part of me by heart and how to gather them.

    Comments

    1. I am happy with the many posts!

      Just when you think you’ve found the way up, this happens, the woman you cheated with and thought you left behind is suddenly in your office, demanding an explanation as to why you left her abruptly.

      Tina in all honesty did the right thing and told Bette about this unexpected encounter. And I can totally understand Bette’s reaction. You can forgive someone but forgetting is another story, as much as you want to put it away until it is crushed to dust, it will stay with you and eventually wear out but that will take a long time. Tina knows that trust has been deeply damaged and has to prove herself again. What’s good is that Tina went after Bette, that she knows and understands what her cheating did to Bette.

      One step forward, two steps back, but in the end they will come out stronger!

      I really love your descriptions in detail, as if I were seeing the journey or environment myself!

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