‘I don’t understand.’ My voice trembles as I hold up the picture at her. The ice cubes tingle again as she takes a big sip, watching me putting the picture back gently.

‘You don’t understand so many things.’

‘Why here?’ I don’t understand how she can live in this apartment. All the memories, our life, everything.

‘As I said…you don’t understand so many things.’ Her voice is low, her ponytail swings as she walks back to the kitchen. For a moment she rest her hands on the kitchen counter her head bended. I follow her and lean against the fridge, crossing my arms in front of my chest. There is nothing cooking on the stove, I must have imagined it. She hands me a glass of whiskey but doesn’t walk away. ‘Are you finally ready to talk?’

‘I need clarity Tina.’ In one swig I drown the whiskey, tears hit my eyes as the strong liquor burns its way through my gullet.

‘So do I.’ She whispers back with a hint of despair. ‘How long are you staying?’

‘Long enough.’

‘Long enough for what?’ She asks with pleading eyes as I pass her by on my way to the minibar. I desperately need another drink, I need to shield myself. Long enough…

Long enough to watch Renee die. Long enough to understand why here, why Paris. Long enough for her to tell me in my face that she wants a divorce. Long enough for her to tell me what went wrong. Long enough for her to tell me why she had to rip me apart and disappear. Long enough for her to convince me that it wasn’t all a lie … or a dream. Long enough so I can yell at her till I’m able to start hating her. Long enough to tell her that I missed her. Long enough to see that she got over me. Long enough so she can maybe hold me one last time. Long enough to accept that I will have to move on. Long enough to see if she still cares. Long enough for her to hear what our life meant to me. Long enough to tell her how sorry I am. Long enough…

‘I’m here, that should be enough.’ It’s a good thing though that they have a minibar at the Ritz as well, I don’t think drowning only this second drink will do tonight. ‘This isn’t how it was supposed to be.’

‘No it isn’t.’ Again she steps closer. I wish she wouldn’t, her flowery scent with a hint of citrus intoxicates me and nearly brings me down to my knees and if it wouldn’t…her question does. ‘We were really happy weren’t we?’ All I can do is nod in agreement and my eyes close by itself when her silky grasp reaches out for my hand, the familiar touch didn’t lose its ability to warm me. And then her fingertips brush against the white golden wedding band on my ring finger. ‘You’re still wearing it.’

‘I am..’ A single tear falls down on our hands and I don’t know if it’s hers or mine. ’So are you.’

‘Yes.’ Her shaky whimper makes me look up at her and I search her eyes for the meaning of it all.

‘I never thought I would see it again.’

‘Neither did I.’

When it all becomes too much I start walking away, in slow motion my hand starts slipping out of hers until I don’t feel her anymore and she doesn’t take an effort to hold on. She just stands there till I close the door behind me.