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After Bette left last night I sat on the couch for hours, just staring into nothing. Seeing her in the apartment, the turn our conversation took, her scent that lingered around me for hours, it was almost too much to bare. And then that fevered dream I had, where I came home to the apartment filled with 365 roses, one for each day of our marriage, as she did on our first wedding anniversary. I was slowly admiring each and every one of them, her eyes burning on me the entire time, I told her she was crazy, she told me she was crazy about me… Hours later, I’m still in this melancholic state, while sitting in the empty hospital room. When the door opens and Bette walks in, she brings the bad weather from outside with her. Her face is cloudy, her clothes dark and her mood even darker. The frown between her brows was always some sort of indicator for her mood. Even her voice matches her state. ‘Where is Renee?’
‘They picked her up for some check-up.’
‘For what now?’ She snaps turning on her heels to me. ‘I thought everything was clear.’
‘Do I look like a doctor to you?’ I snap back. Neither of us are really morning people and often our mornings consisted out of me flying through the house, gathering my stuff on my way out and she being annoyed by that, both not holding back from exchanging the occasional snaps. This pretty much resembles one of those mornings, this time her obvious hangover only adding. She rarely drinks, maybe a glass of white wine with fish, a glass of red with steak. A Martini when Jazz is playing. But strong drinks she takes only occasionally to get the edges off. She hates strong drinks and I have a feeling that second glass of whiskey in my apartment wasn’t the last one.
‘When will she be back?’
‘How the fuck should I know?’ I bark but when she sits down and starts tracing circles with her fingertips pressed against her temples I immediately soften, the worry kicking in. ‘Bad hangover?’
‘What do you care?’
‘I can’t do this with you right now, not today.’ Today I want nothing…or her back in the apartment just sitting there with her in a comfortable silence.