What happened to the revolution?

Shane woke up in her bed and the first words that she slurred were: “My head is fucking heavy… fuck”. She said the words to nobody in particular – especially because the room, just like the whole apartment, were completely deserted. 

Shane McCutcheon ran her fingers through her uncombed hair and forced herself to get up from the bed. 

As she let the water run into the shower, she found herself staring at something outside the window. Shane stood there, completely naked – she had lost weight, not too much for people to notice, but enough for Carmen to notice, even though Carmen hadn’t said anything – and watched Carmen’s car parked near the main entrance of the building. 

On Shane’s face, there was no apparent emotion. A little more than three months had passed since that night at the Hit Club and nothing into Shane’s heart had changed. In fact, nothing into Shane’s life had changed, at all.

That night, at the club, Shane had gotten shit-faced drunk, bent over the bar counter, pretending to be so happy for Tina and Bette that she had – she really had to – drink. She had smiled and joked and fooled around and cheered, all the while throwing glances at Carmen, pretending not to notice the stern – but hurt – look on her face, and all the while flirting with Molly… right on Carmen’s face. 

Self-destruction at its maximum level and Shane had felt guiltily proud of herself. 

That night, she had found herself into Molly’s house and then into Molly’s bed and eventually into Molly. There was a tenderness, in Shane’s behavior and kisses, in the way she had moved over Molly’s body and stared at her. Tenderness, but not love. 

“Are you going to stay?”, Molly had asked, as the dawn peeped in from the windows. 

Shane had stroked Molly’s hair, quietly, and had sighed. Molly had propped on her elbows and had watched her intensely.

“Are we back together or…is this a goodbye?”, she had re-formulated the question, hoping to receive a nod, a shake of the head, anything from Shane. Anything different from that silence, and that hollow look into Shane’s eyes. 

Finally, Shane had stopped averting Molly’s gaze and had sighed, again.