Shane felt defeated by the feelings she felt and, at the same time, was mad at Carmen. Angry, really. Because Carmen had put Shane right in front of a choice. Changing or not changing. Trying or not trying. Risking or not risking. And Shane’s mind was reeling out of control. 

Shane’s relationship – friendship? – with Carmen had chilled a little, since that night at the Hit Club. More or less in the same moment, other things in Carmen’s life had gotten off the ground: her deejaying had been great, and extremely appreciated. So much that, in fact, Kit had asked Carmen to spin at Hit every friday night. Carmen had accepted, while into her soul joy and excitement blended with sadness. 

Shane wasn’t there. Shane was somehow the maker, the motivator, the trigger that had provoked the whole earthquake into Carmen’s life, and now wasn’t there to see the results. 

So, during the last three months, Shane had been at the Hit Club every friday night. She would find a secluded spot in the hall, sit at a small table or on a dimly lit couch. She would drink a first beer, and then a second one, and a third one, she would drink until she would lose count, and observe Carmen spinning and dancing behind the booth. And every friday, Carmen was more beautiful. Every friday, she would smile more at the several different kinds of people approaching her, talking to her, bringing her some water. And every friday, Shane would drink a little more. 

And now it was saturday morning and Shane tried hard to relax her body under the warm, warm water on the shower, asking herself why her bed was still empty. 

***

Carmen frowned and knocked on Shane’s door. As she waited, she tormented the hem of her t-shirt and bit her bottom lip. What if Shane was with Molly? Or with someone else, for that matter? What kind of shitty figure was Carmen going to make, acting like a worried grandma?

She was a little more than worried, actually. The previous night she was almost at the end of her set when she had seen Shane slur something to the bartender – and Carmen had winced, thinking that Shane seemed to slur a lot, lately – and then leave the club stumbling into things and people.