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    Valediction (One/Three)

    Story written on March 21, 2007 by MutedTempest.
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    Number of Comments: 12
    Words: 6661
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=65034
    Author Notes:

    News. Memories. Decisions. Etc.

    Alice stayed with me through the whole thing. She was the only person that ever yelled back at me; even my parents and Howie usually gave up after awhile. Alice was the only one who could make me feel bad about what I was doing at the same time she was making me feel better. When remission came that time, it was because of her alone. I wouldn’t have gotten through it without her. Even the doctors were in awe of her for it.

    There were no major infections or anything that time, which was different. I’m not sure it was better, because when remission finally came I didn’t feel all that different than I’d been feeling for months. I felt like I’d gotten a second chance at a second chance, though, and for one of the first times in my adult life I went to church voluntarily. I kept going, too, usually to Latin Mass early on Sundays. I wasn’t Catholic by any means, but I loved hearing the Latin. I can’t say it made me feel closer to God, but it did make me a lot more peaceful…which I think is the whole point of church. Alice went with me sometimes; not always, since she seemed to know that it was more a private thing for me, but she would go every now and then and hold my hand discreetly while the priest spoke in a language that nobody used anymore.

    Not long after, Alice and I started sleeping together again. It was like night and day, before the cancer and after. Not that it was any less exciting or anything, it was just…different. We were both different in how we acted and reacted to each other, and for me at least, it’s been better. That sounds weird, I’m sure, but it’s much more fulfilling for me now. It’s like we’re more connected, somehow. I don’t know if she feels the same. I hope she does, but I don’t know how to ask that. I’m afraid of her answer, because if she doesn’t like it as much anymore, I don’t know how to fix it…or if I’d even want to.

    The six months after the second remission were spent trying to make amends, although of course everyone told me to forget it. I felt horrible, though, and kept trying to make it up to them. It wasn’t long before we were all able to start hanging out again, which was good. They’ve been there ever since, focusing on their own lives, but always making sure I’m okay.

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    Comments

    1. I hate to just repeat what everyone else said…but yeah, wow. I don’t think I’ve ever cried from fan fic before, but tears actually welled up in my eyes by the 3rd page of this. I almost didn’t read it because I want to live in a delusional fan fic universe where Dana dying of cancer is never part of the equation, but I love your writing so much I couldn’t resist. I’m bracing myself for the outcome, but I know it’ll be worth it if the next 2 chapters are anything like this one (and I’m sure they will be).

    6. Wow…that’s pretty much all there is to say. I’m supposed to be writing a paper, but i stopped to see if anything new was posted and i’m glad i did! This is such an awesome story, its so real. Please continue and SOON!

    7. Dana’s death really was handled poorly on the show, both last season and this one (so far), so I’m interested to see your interpretation. This was an excellent first chapter, though I know the heartbreak is coming. Thanks

    8. you got me all so teary eyes :'( liking the closure that we certainly didn’t get on the show. also the first person-thing. it’s done perfect :)

    9. I lost my longest friend recently to cancer so this opened those wounds. It is a poingnant story and well constructed and written so the reader is a participant. Please continueJackie E

    10. Ok, I just have to say that I pretty much started crying on the second page, and now that I’m finished I still can’t stop crying. That was…my God. There are no words for all the love and emotion you just created between the two. 5 pages of your story proved their love more than storyline IC could have written. Please post the rest of this story soon, although I’ll have to remember to grab an entire box of tissues next installment. Great job.

    11. Amazing! I love how you are writing this…I like the 1st person angle, it works! I am almost crying, but I am at work and that makes me want to cry on its own…no seriously you have a gift! Looking fwd to all your posts for all your stories (YOU, Weather the Storm and now Valediction)

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