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    Valediction (One/Three)

    Story written on March 21, 2007 by MutedTempest.
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    Number of Comments: 12
    Words: 6661
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=65034
    Author Notes:

    News. Memories. Decisions. Etc.

    After she slammed the door to our room, I went for a walk. I wound up at the Catholic Church that gave Latin Mass, and as I stood outside I realized it was Wednesday. I glanced at my watch and decided to stick around.

    I did a lot of thinking during that hour and a half before the Mass. I was still against the chemo, knowing deep in my heart that it was futile. I’m pretty sure that Alice knew it, too, but I guess she figured that if I didn’t at least try, it’d be admitting defeat. She was right, of course; it would have been. I was okay with that, but she wasn’t.

    The longer I sat there, watching the setting sun filter through the stained glass, the more I realized that I had to do it for her. I didn’t care, but she did…and if my putting up a fight, even when I knew it wouldn’t do any good, would make it in any way easier for her to deal with what I was positive the outcome would be, it was worth it.

    I stayed through the Mass, letting the Latin wash over me. I’d taken years and years of it both in high school and college, so I could have understood most of what was being said if I’d tried it. I didn’t want to, though. Letting it wash over me like music was a lot more soothing, and in some weird way it made me feel connected to something outside myself. I’m not sure if it was God, exactly…but whatever it was, it gave me a lot of peace.

    I walked home slowly, and the weirdest thing was that I was happy. I was in a damn good mood although I had every reason not to be, and I realized that this was what I needed. This was what was good. I had been given a gift, a time span, no matter how short, and I could do whatever the hell I wanted with it. As I rounded the corner and made my way slowly up the stone steps to the building, I was truly grateful to have what I did. I made a vow to myself, then and there, that I wasn’t going to waste it. I was going to enjoy every fucking second I had left.

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    Comments

    1. I hate to just repeat what everyone else said…but yeah, wow. I don’t think I’ve ever cried from fan fic before, but tears actually welled up in my eyes by the 3rd page of this. I almost didn’t read it because I want to live in a delusional fan fic universe where Dana dying of cancer is never part of the equation, but I love your writing so much I couldn’t resist. I’m bracing myself for the outcome, but I know it’ll be worth it if the next 2 chapters are anything like this one (and I’m sure they will be).

    6. Wow…that’s pretty much all there is to say. I’m supposed to be writing a paper, but i stopped to see if anything new was posted and i’m glad i did! This is such an awesome story, its so real. Please continue and SOON!

    7. Dana’s death really was handled poorly on the show, both last season and this one (so far), so I’m interested to see your interpretation. This was an excellent first chapter, though I know the heartbreak is coming. Thanks

    8. you got me all so teary eyes :'( liking the closure that we certainly didn’t get on the show. also the first person-thing. it’s done perfect :)

    9. I lost my longest friend recently to cancer so this opened those wounds. It is a poingnant story and well constructed and written so the reader is a participant. Please continueJackie E

    10. Ok, I just have to say that I pretty much started crying on the second page, and now that I’m finished I still can’t stop crying. That was…my God. There are no words for all the love and emotion you just created between the two. 5 pages of your story proved their love more than storyline IC could have written. Please post the rest of this story soon, although I’ll have to remember to grab an entire box of tissues next installment. Great job.

    11. Amazing! I love how you are writing this…I like the 1st person angle, it works! I am almost crying, but I am at work and that makes me want to cry on its own…no seriously you have a gift! Looking fwd to all your posts for all your stories (YOU, Weather the Storm and now Valediction)

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