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    Was it Time Wasted?

    Story written on March 28, 2011 by Journey1962.
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    61 votes, average: 3.75 out of 561 votes, average: 3.75 out of 561 votes, average: 3.75 out of 561 votes, average: 3.75 out of 561 votes, average: 3.75 out of 5 (61 votes, average: 3.75 out of 5)
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    Number of Comments: 15
    Words: 12253
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=77116
    Author Notes:

    A one time complete story. A Tibette/Journey1962 Mashup

    “So when you started dated did you date men and women?”
    “At first only men. But I don’t know if you can call what I did dating.  Well internet dating.  He called it courting. He and I were getting to know one another long distance.  I learned that I can’t do the long distance thing.  And by that time I learned to be up front and honest about my past.”
    “Past as in Bette?”
    “Yes.  I told him that I was once in love with a woman.”
    “What did he respond to that?”
    “He said that he didn’t care.  But every guy after him said the same.  They don‘t care.  Well I learned to say things a little differently later on.  Instead of saying that I was once in love with a woman I would say that I was Bi-sexual even though I hated the label.  One guy just came straight out and asked me why not just be with a woman then?’”
    “Yeah why not?”
    “When I decided that I would be open to dating women I was just about to become an empty nester.  So I would have the freedom to make mistakes without it directly affect my kids. I had already been exposing myself to internet lesbian community.  I would watch programs about the lifestyle read articles online.  Basically getting in online education about what it meant to be gay in America. 
    “She has always like to do her research.”
    “Yes I have.  But some of the things about the gay lifestyle scared me.  I wasn‘t ready for dyke drama.  I hate drama.  I‘m not into crazy women.  I have crossed some nut jobs.  Gay or straight, crazy is not attractive.  So for me the crazy factor kept me away from women.  It didn‘t mean that I didn‘t look or long.  Because even though I was dating guys every now and then, I longed for a relationship with a woman the whole time. When I pictured myself happy there was a woman beside me not a man.  I think as far as society is concerned being with a man is easier.  But I knew that I would be more fulfilled with a woman.”
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    Comments

    1. It was courageous of you to share your story with us. Things happen in our lives for a reason and they help shape who we are now. I wish you happiness and peace.

    2. This is my first time leaving a comment. I enjoyed your story. I related to some of this story. Here’s to a new chapter and may your journey be an amazing one!

    3. Thanks for sharing the story and wisdom “…They were a time of learning and preparation for the good to come in your life…” :-) very touching and encouraging. Well, you might be shy as you said, and I really don’t know you, but I believe that you are a brave one ;-) proven by sharing this story and openly telling this is based on your experience. Wishing you happiness and love.. :-)

    4. You were brave to share a part of yourself with us. I can so truly relate to your story. I am 44 years old, and I have known of my attraction to women since I was about eight years old, but has never been with a woman, lead the so call normal life for about 10 years from the age of 14-24 and then just left the whole scene alone and decided to just be alone,not fair to men and too much drama with women. Good Luck to you. And yes please an update on “Stripper”, I love that story.

    5. I’m glad that a number of you can relate to this story in some way. I know a lot of us read for pure entertainment and to escape a little bit. But I also like to read to gain a little insight sometimes. As a shy person, I tend to be very introspect, too much in my head. As you can tell by the way that I write :) So one day when that special woman comes into my life I hope that I don’t over think things too much. :) Thanks for the well wishes. I am looking forward to loving again, the right person. Best wishes to those who search as well.

    6. How brave you are. It takes an amazing person to see themselves as clear as you do. Best wishes on your journey to your true self…I hope you find more happiness along the way.

    7. It takes some courage to write the way you have. I hope you feel better for it! Your handle makes a whole lot of sense now and I too wish you the very best on the journey you have embarked on :0)

    12. Glad to see your post and WoW! Such fortitude and insightful story, revealing too! Perception of God, faith and love is a cause of many struggles and debates; thank you for sharing a glimpse in your journey. Any way to have realization sooner rather than later is great! Please don’t take long to update the other story.

    13. Got to the end of the story and realized I was crying. I could insert my name for Tina’s… 3 kids, a 19-year marriage ending after my ex cheated, and a similar “Bette” in my past. Thanks for sharing your experience and I agree with you about not regretting the past. From one shy, over-thinker to another, I wish you love and happiness on your journey. I hope you find someone

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