Have you ever climbed a mountain? If you have you’ll know the pain in my legs, accept me I’ve got pain in my heart as well. I’d trade the stabbing pain in my heart for any kind of hurt in any part of my body right now.

Do you recall two thirds on the way up to the tippy- top of the mountain, feeling a sense of accomplishment? I did. For me it wasn’t about the miles I had run up, ignoring the shooting pain in my quads, for me it was mental. For me it was all about finding a gateway to identity.

 My mother used to drive me up to the Poconos in Northern Pennsylvania. As a kid I had enjoyed camping, fishing, paddle boating, climbing and swimming in the lake. But most of all I enjoyed taking in the scenery.  I loved hearing the birds sing sweet melodies, feeling the light breeze caress my skin, Oh how I love feeling one with nature!

I wonder why I’ve never taken Tina here before, Bette thought. I should bring Tina up here one day.  She was sat on a large rock under a tree, taking a break. She had just climbed a mountain barely resting, maybe a water break every now and then. She had left a sobbing Tina alone behind in their home that they had shared for seven years needing to feel again. The numbness she had begun to feel since the hotel back in Vancouver when Tina had confessed that she had drunken sex with Matt Gold hadn’t left. Although she had tried her best not to think about Tina, there was really nothing else that she saw, and nothing else in her life that had mattered more than Tina.

Art? People think art is my life? It once was a religion for me, She thought. But along came Tina, Tina Kennard she was my life. No she IS my life.

Being alone in the mountain all day Bette recalled all the things she had said to Tina before leaving.

"Are you going to tell me why this all happened in the first place? What aren’t you telling me, Tina?" She had demanded Tina to tell her what she had been going through. Admittedly she realized here that she was wrong to bully her into telling her right then and there. Tina wasn’t the type to withhold anything from her, she knew her. The only reason she wasn’t willing to tell her what demons she was dealing with was because she was either unsure of them or she was ashamed.