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    When I Lost You

    "When I lost you, I lost a half of myself. I lost the better half of myself. All that was left was my dark side, my cruel side. The side of me that just wanted to fuck people and run off laughing at them. I laughed at them and found them pathetic, but I was the one that really was. I don’t think I can ever completely get rid of the guilt I feel, but I know that you can take some pain away. There’s no reason why you would do that, I realise that. All I can say is that we loved each other so much, and we shouldn’t throw it away. We never should have in the first place. So, if you ever cared for me, please give us another shot. I promise I’ll make it worth it.”

    “I don’t know. We both changed so much during the time we’ve been apart. It’s like you said – when we broke up, both of us lost a part of themselves. An essential part, a part that made us who we were back then, and losing that part means we’re different now. I don’t know which part is was, but I do know that it wasn’t the part that loved the other beyond reason. It was something else, but still… I don’t know if we have a chance to make it together. In the time we spent apart, so much happened. Can I deal with what you did? Can you deal with what I did?”

    “It will require a lot of talking, we will have to work. That’s where we went wrong – we took each other for granted. We didn’t think that after all those years of being together, we could fall apart. We would have to be on our own again. We didn’t talk because we thought we didn’t need to. We just lived next to each other, waiting for the other to say something. We shouldn’t let that happen anymore. We can’t. I believe we have a second chance, but this time, we’ll make it. I’m sure we will, if we both put an effort in this relationship and keep on working on it every day.”

    “There are so many questions to answer, so many things we need to figure out. Can we really do it? Ask new, painful questions every day? Can we sit back and reflect without feeling the immense hurt again? I don’t want to hurt you any more than I already did. I still feel guilty, and I always will, until the day I die. I don’t think that I deserve you, I’m sure I once did, but then I fucked it up. I’m afraid, I’m so scared I’ll screw up again.”

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