Timing… interesting word.

Why is it so easy to have your own timing to do the things you love doing…. but to synchronize it with someone eles´s timing is so fucking difficult?

Common question, I know. And yet one that I have asked myself far too many times.

We were definately not synchronized with him. Not in a million years. Even when we started dating. Our paths were so different…. our relationship was basically the addition of those “on” moments… I frankly can´t say at this point if it was more of a obsession than real love what we shared… but it doesn´t matter now….

Because I see him everywhere… and sometimes I feel so guilty.

Helena has said soooo many times that it´s normal to feel like this given the circumstances… that I knew what he was gonna choose anyway…. and that was certainly not me… for a change. That this time he was not gonna come back with a million of “forgive me” in his speech.

He had found his match? Maybe…

Someone knocked at the door. It startled me from my thoughts.

It was my assistant Jo… aparently Helena has called for the fourth time today… I should take the call… I know, but I also know what she has to say…. another business proposal.

Jo gives me that look again. Damn she knows how to make me feel bad for not answering to certain people….

“Ok… ok…. I will call her back, no need to keep on giving me that look” I say to her reluctantly.

“Now?”

“Yes, yes… see? I´m picking up the phone now” I say trying to look as innocent as possible… sometimes this little game we do with Jo amuses me…. only sometimes… but if there´s one thing I adore about Jo is that she never ever would cross the line with me… or anyone for that matter.

I dial Helena´s number… Jo leaves the office… I´m not so amused anymore, I really don´t feel like talking to anyone today….

“Hi Helena!”

“Oh Tina, darling! I have been calling you all day? Where have you bloody been?”

“Just doing my job Helena… nothing more, nothing less”

“Well, anyway. The reason I called you was to ask if you would like to spend this next weekend with me and my mother in our summer house”.