“Adele” Jenny’s voice is heard “put in the second entry for the contest.”  A tape being inserted into a VCR and the automatic play is heard.

The Facts of L

By Ana Nimos

Episode 1: The New Girl

You’re watching legs, you stare at breasts,
And hide it cause you’re not out yet
The Facts of L, the Facts of L.

Clips of Mrs. P (Mrs. Garrett), Bev, Nina and Helen (three versions of Blair), Shaun (Jo), Elise (Tootie) and Donna (Natalie)

When Melissa’s all you listen to
There’s only one thing left to do
The Facts of L, the Facts of L.

Clips of the girls getting into different types of mischief

Your parents think you’re going to hell
Cause you’re living the Facts of L. (learning the Facts of L)
Living the Facts of L (learning the Facts of L)
Living the Facts of L.

A clip of the girls forming a pyramid on a grassy field; then falling down all over each other.  Mrs. P is standing with her Polaroid camera taking pictures of the whole scene as the girls giggle away.

The scene is set in the cafeteria of Westland Hollywood Lesbian Preparatory School.

Enter Kit who is wearing a purple polyester suit/skirt with a pink ruffled blouse, the same outfit that Mrs. G. wore on the show.

Enter Jesse with her hair down wearing plain clothes.

Jesse: Hi I’m Jesse. (She stands at the double doors putting her suitcase down).

Mrs. P: Hi Jenny welcome to Westland (Mrs. P walks over to Jenny and hugs her).  Don’t you worry about a thing we’re here to help you (She opens her mouth to say something else but was interrupted).

Enter a pigtailed Elise on roller skates wearing the school rainbow colored polyester uniform followed by Donna with braces wearing her uniform as well.

Alice: Mrs. P!  Bev and Nina are having sex in the shower again! (Jesse’s jaw drops and she covers her smile).

Mrs. P: Now Elise what have I told you about spreading rumors?