IS THIS LOVE

CHAPTER 123

Helena was considering Tina’s letter of recommendation and how to word it. After the way her mother had acted Helena thought that the Peabody family owed her a damn good reference. She had been throwing around the words that came to mind when she considered Tina’s work. She was articulate, confident and had an impressive attention to detail in short Tina was an excellent executive. She would do well on the Masters course because she had life experience to go with her intelligence and a willingness to work hard. What Tina had lacked 9 months ago was self belief – and that had been one of the many gifts that had come with falling in love with Bette. As Helena was studying what she had written so far she glanced up as Emma came into the room
It occurred to Helena as she watched Emma checking her phone for messages that since they had got together again they had spent most nights together. Tonight they were in Helena’s apartment and Emma was cooking. There were not many of her exes who had been as comfortable in Helena’s luxury places as Emma – but then Emma was a natural with the wealth that came with the Peabody lifestyle.
“What are you up to ? “ Emma asked looking at Helena “ Do you want a drink by the way – I am parched for a whiskey “
“Same for me thanks “ Helena replied
Emma crossed to the drinks try and poured a drink and added two ice cubes to Helena’s scotch and took it across to her.
“So what are you doing ?”
“Writing a reference “
“For Tina ?”
“Yes “
Emma walked back to the table and poured herself a drink. This had the potential to be an argument if she didn’t handle this right.
“Do you know what she is planning or is this a speculative reference “
“She deserves a good reference “
“That wasn’t the question “ Emma said almost before she could stop herself
“I am not in the dock “ Helena replied
Emma added more scotch to her drink “I am not looking for a fight “
“Well do not treat me like I am a hostile witness “
“I wasn’t – honest Helena – it was a question “
Helena looked up “ No – you probably weren’t – sorry. “
“Its okay – I find it hard to shake my lawyers brain. It wasn’t an accusation – I know the three of you are close and you think that I am being a monster. But she is my daughter and I hate that she’s thrown away a really brilliant job over some squabble between Peggy and the two of us”
“We don’t agree on this Emma. I think she is right in what she has done and its taken courage for her to do it. It would have been the easy option to keep her head down and just accepted the job. She didn’t do that – what she did was honourable – you should be proud of her “
“Pride doesn’t pay the bills “
“You think she will starve ?”
“No – no I don’t. I do not want her to become dependent on Bette “
“First of all Bette would give her the shirt off her back and not complain. Something that Bette would do for several other people. Tina is moving into Bette’s three storey New York townhouse – that if you look it up on a property website its worth about a million. Bette is a very successful gallery owner. I help her with her accounts now and again and trust me – she is doing well “
“I do not want Tina to become dependent on anyone – that’s not how she’s been brought up “
Helena shook her head – Emma had some crazy notions and they needed to be squashed. Helena moved her laptop, picked up her drink and looked at her lover
“Tina is not dependent on Bette – not in that way. She loves her very much and that’s a two way thing – do you agree with that ?”
“Yes – of course I do. I am not the baddie Helena – you all think that I am”
Helena tried a different approach “Emma – do not worry abut Tina. She is fine and she is going to bounce back from the set back of not taking the job.”
“So why will she not tell me what her plans are ?”
“Do you remember your mom Emma ?”
Emma raised her eyebrows “My mom ? – she died about ten years ago. She was great and a good person “
“And when you were around her – even though you were the head of a leading New York law firm that you set up – could she still make you feel like a 12 year old ?”
Emma laughed “ Yes – yes she did “
“You probably don’t mean to do it but you make Tina feel like she is a kid. All mother’s do – even the sainted Rosemary. Tina is an only child of fantastically successful lesbian parents – she has everything that she needs to be a success. She just didn’t know what she wanted to do with her life – like me. Did you ever want to be anything other than a lawyer ?”
“No “
“Tina – like me – she doesn’t know what she wants. She could probably do a lot of things – like me. Bette was always going to do something with her art degree – she has always been fascinated by art and architecture and design. She’s in her element doing what she is doing. I changed degree courses and I still came out of college not knowing what I wanted. Just trust Tina – this is not the Tina of 12 months ago you know “
“I know – I can see how much happier she is “
“And she is much more assured – self confident. You have to trust her “
“You think I am going over the top ?”
“I think that you love her – you love her a lot – a hell of a lot. And I get that – I really understand. But she is a grown woman – she is 27 years old Emma. She is capable of taking care of herself. She is with her life partner- that’s massive for any woman. Tina knows where she is going “
Emma sighed and took a sip of her drink. Helena watched her as she stretched out in her seat
“I worry so much because I know how she has been in the last few years. I know she was really clear about her goals when she got the job with CBS. I thought she was going to be fine – I don’t have any doubts that she will be a success in what she does. I know I hated the community centre where she worked but what she doesn’t know is that I know how well she did. I made it my business to talk to people in that field and Tina was a hero to the people she helped “
“Have you never told her that you know how well she did ?”
“No – because I didn’t want her to keep doing it “
“You are a snob – you know that don’t you Emma ?”
“I do know that Helena “
“I guess it takes one to know one – I am a snob as well and I don’t think I would work in the places that Tina did. Let me ask you – do you worry about her and Bette ?”
“No – I don’t worry. I am embarrassed about trying to get her to date anyone but Bette”
“Like me “
“Yes “ Emma grinned “ Not my finest moment “
“You weren’t to know how they had clicked “
Emma drained her drink and got up and topped up her glass and Helena’s. when she got back to her chair she regarded Helena
“So tell me – where you surprised by how they were ? You have known Bette for so long “
“I knew she liked Tina and that she talked about her a lot. She would go all goofy when she spoke about her. When I got back from a trip away there had been a date – and they went to bed together after about 20 minutes “
Emma smiled “One of THOSE dates “
“That is unlike Bette – I am sure that it took Bette by surprise but it hit them both like a tornado. I am not certain – don’t quote me on this but I think that Bette was falling in love with Tina before they became lovers “
“Does Bette make a habit of falling in love like that ?”
“No – Bette has been hurt badly in the past and now she is wary. She dated lots of beautiful women – she might even have slept with them for one or two occasions but what happened was very much out of step what she normally was like. Bette is devoted to her and she does take care of her Emma. This thing that Tina wants the reference for – they have talked it through and come to an agreement for what they both want for Tina. Bette wants Tina to be happy and challenged. Bette knew that the community centre job was not demanding enough for Tina”
“I am being a jackass “ Emma said
“No – you are concerned but Tina is 27 years old and she is mature enough to be about to set up a home with Bette “
“Tell me what to do Helena – I don’t want to fight with her – seriously I don’t. I just get worked up by not seeing her fulfilling her talents “
Helena smiled – Emma did have a good heart – the problem was that she struggled with showing her kindness. But then again – if Emma showed heart and emotion in her job she wouldn’t have the job she had and she wouldn’t be as good as she was.
“Trust her – its really simple – but then again how much does Peggy trust me ? Be more like Rosemary – Rosemary has always let Bette lead her own life – it doesn’t mean for a second that she doesn’t love Bette – she does – but she trusts her enough to do things her own way. Look at it this way Emma – Rosemary and Melvin have let Bette do things her way since she was 14 – she has the millionaire dollar town house and the very successful business. Tina and I have the advantages that Bette didn’t and we are out of work “
Emma sighed “I know I am pissing her off and I do try not to “
Helena smiled “I know that and on a side note – isn’t dinner in danger of ending up setting the smoke alarms off ? “
“Oh fuck “ Emma jumped up and headed into the kitchen