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    Heart-Shaped Box, Ch. 33

    Bette nervously lit a candle in the middle of the kitchen table. After sitting around thinking all day, as well as her earlier conversation with Tim, she was sure shed like for her and Tina to try to have a family again. Now she just had to see how Tina felt. Shed ordered from Tinas favorite Chinese restaurant in hopes of getting her in a good mood. Bette hadnt dared tried to cook dinner herself tonight. Basically, the only thing she could actually cook that was edible was her chocolate chip pancakes, and that was a fluke of some sort. Besides, she figured Tina wouldnt want that for dinner.

    At least her cooking skills were better than Alices. Bette shuddered as she remembered the cake Alice had baked for Shanes birthday two years ago. It had taken weeks to get the taste out of her mouth. Even if it was a mix in a box, Alice couldnt make it. She was lucky to boil water. Speaking of Alice…Bette suddenly remembered the strange conversation from the other night. If Alice had really needed food advice, she should have called Marina or Lara. Shaking her head, Bette got back to thinking about what to say to Tina while she laid their good china onto the table along with some beautifully decorated cloth napkins.

    As she opened the Chinese takeout containers and laid portions of food onto the plates, Bette wondered how they could find another sperm donor. Marcus Allenwood was out of the question. She supposed that, like Tim said, there was always adoption. Her thoughts were interrupted by Tinas arrival home.

    While they ate, they discussed Tim, and Bette told Tina of her suggestion to him that he volunteer at the Center, which Tina agreed was a good idea. After eating dinner, they both sat at the table sipping wine as Bette worked up the courage to try and broach the subject.

    Before she could say anything, Tina looked up and asked timidly, Bette, have you ever thought about trying to have another baby?

    Bette was slightly startled before admitting that it had been on her mind lately.

    Tina relayed her fears of another miscarriage, and they discussed the problem of finding another sperm donor, and then Bette brought up adoption.

    Tina leaned forward thoughtfully. That could work. But Bette…are we really ready for a child? Can we handle the responsibility and all the other issues now?

    Bette shifted in her chair, draining her wine glass, as she admitted she wasnt sure.

    They both sat pensively for a moment before Tina suddenly smiled. I have an idea.

    *********************************************

    Lara walked toward the reception desk, feeling tired and slightly nauseated. Chemo always made her so sick, and she hated it. What she hated almost as much, though, were the mounting medical bills. Shed already exhausted both her insurance coverage and her personal savings. Lara was worried about how she could continue to pay for her treatments.

    Her doctor had just given her the good news that the expensive and aggressive new regime of chemo was paying off. The number of cancer cells invading her body was decreasing, and the doctors now longer thought shed only live six more months. She now seemed to have a good year or more, depending on if she could afford to continue her treatments.

    Lara wearily gave the billing clerk her name and waited while the woman pulled up her file on the computer.

    The womans face took on a surprised look. Oh. Ms. Perkins, it seems youve already been taken care of.

    What? Are you sure? Lara asked in confusion, sure there was some kind of mistake.

    Yes. As a matter of fact, it says here that your treatments for the next year have all been prepaid.

    Lara felt her jaw drop, and she grabbed the edge of the reception desk to steady herself. Excuse me? By whom?

    I cant tell you that. I just assumed it was someone you knew. There is a note in your file here that says I have something to deliver to you, though. The woman turned to the filing cabinet and rooted around in it before pulling out a white envelope, which she handed to Lara with flair. Here you go. Have a nice day!

    Thank you, Lara murmured as she took the envelope and walked away in a daze. She waited until she got to her car before taking a good look at it. Her name was typed on the outside, and Lara opened it with shaking hands.

    Lara-

    You have always been there for those who needed you. Now it is time that you need someone, and I am here. Heres to the long road to recovery that lies ahead. You will beat this.

    Love,
    …Youll figure it out eventually

    Tears welled up in Laras eyes as the letter fell out of her shaking hands and into her lap.

    *********************************************

    Alice sat grumpily on her couch after getting in from work. She drummed her fingers on her knee. Shed made the mistake of sticking around the other night until Shane and Dana had left the restaurant. They had come out together laughing, Shanes arm draped loosely around Danas waist. Shane had walked Dana to her car and then had had the nerve to kiss her good night. Apparently, theyd been too involved in their little lip lock to hear Alices accidental shout of anger. Alice was still steaming, the unfortunate image burned into her brain.

    Alice jumped up and paced around the living room. Now what could she do to totally piss Shane off and ruffle her feathers? She stared across the room, deep in thought, as her eyes landed on the phone book. Hmmmm.

    Racking her brain, Alice flipped through the phone book. The yellow pages open to D, her eyes fell on an ad. Her eyes lit up deviously as she got an idea. Grabbing the phone, she quickly dialed the number.

    Hello, Davis Diaper Services? Yes, do you deliver? You do? Thats wonderful! In what amounts do you sell your, um, product? By the box? Perfect! Well, then Id like to order ten boxes. I can just pay the deliveryman when he gets here, right? Good, good. Alice flipped through her address book until she found the entry she was looking for, rattling off the address into the phone. Theyll get here today, right? Great! Oh, my name? Alice smiled cunningly. Shane McCutcheon.

    *********************************************

    Dana grinned to herself. Her career was a matchmaker was already well underway. Shed called both Brandy and Tim and asked them both to meet her at Red Lobster…or had she told them Applebees? Dana frowned, struggling to remember. She knew theyd both show up, as shed stressed the importance that she see each one of them. Then, when they had both arrived there, shed call their respective cell phones and say she was sick, but to stay and eat at her reserved table on her, as shed already taken care of the bill. Theyd run into each other, sit together, have dinner, and poof! Instant chemistry, and a great romance. At least, that was how Dana envisioned it.

    Checking her watch, she saw it was time to play sick. Making sure her voice was subdued and her fake cough sounded good, she called Brandy first and apologized profusely, but convinced her to stay at Red Lobster. Then she called Tim.

    Hello, Tim? Its Dana. *Cough, cough* Im feeling a little sick, so I dont think I can make it tonight. But you just stay there at Red Lobster and – what? What do you mean I told you to go to Applebees? *****! Dana stomped her feet as she mulled over what to do. Tim, wouldnt you know it, Im suddenly feeling much better now. Yeah, I know, it is a miraculous recovery. Since I already have a reservation at Red Lobster, why dont you hurry over there now and Ill be there soon. No, no, I feel fine. And hurry!

    Dana hung up and threw herself onto the couch, punching one of the ugly beaded throw pillows Tonya had bought for her. My perfect plan is ruined! My efforts are going down the toilet! She shoved her face into the pillow and screamed into it, almost biting off one of the huge garish beads in the process. Okay, calm down, Fairbanks, she said aloud, tossing the pillow to the floor as she stood up, watching as Mr. Stud and Little ***** both dove out from behind the couch and pounced onto the pillow, killing it with their paws. Dana smiled at the sight. Even the kittens had better taste than Tonya had.

    Dana waited long enough until she was sure Tim had enough time to reach the restaurant before she called him back. Tim? Its Dana again. Are you at Red Lobster? Good, good. Well, Ive got a bit of a problem and I wont be able to make it, so you should just go ahead and stay and enjoy yourselves – I mean, yourself. What? What do you mean, whats wrong? I have a, um, flat tire. No, no, dont come fix it! Dont worry about it, Tim, I can take care of it. Besides, I think that the, uh, the…flux capacitor is broken and the spark plugs have gone out. Yeah, trust me, Im fine. Good, now enjoy your dinner; its already been paid for. Just ask for the Fairbanks table. Now you two – um, I mean, you have fun. Just you, of course. Cause its not like, you know, anyone else would be there or anything, okay? Okay, bye! she squeaked out before hanging up quickly.
    Dana sighed. That went well…right? She thought so. Hopefully, theyd remember to invite her to the wedding, Dana thought dreamily as she leaned back into the couch and stared off into space, not even aware of Mr. Stud pulling on the end of her ponytail and Little ***** sneaking up on her from the side.

    *********************************************

    Tim followed the waitress to the table, puzzled. He was even more puzzled to see a dark-haired woman already sitting at his table, and it sure didnt appear to be Dana. When she looked up, he saw it was the woman from earlier, Brandy.

    She looked as confused as he felt, and Tim stood across the table awkwardly before finally deciding to take a seat.

    Brandy glanced at him curiously. Did Dana ask you to come here?

    Tim exhaled, running a hand through his short hair. Yeah. It was really weird, too. I dont even know her that well, and she invites me to some critical dinner thing out of the blue and then calls to say shes sick before freaking out when she realized she told me to go to the wrong restaurant. Then shes suddenly feeling great again and on her way, and then as soon as I get here, she calls again saying something about a flat tire and a flux capacitor, or something about Back to the Future, I guess, and bails on me again. Tell me, he began, leaning forward, is Dana always this, ah, well, weird? No offense or anything.

    Brandy laughed. Of course none is taken. Danas always been….different, for as long as Ive known her. She marches to the beat of her own drummer, thats for sure. You know, Im starting to get this feeling…

    What feeling? Tim prompted curiously.

    Brandy grinned. Like weve been set up.

    It took a moment for what she said to sink in, and when it did, Tim burst out laughing. Oh? You mean…oh! Youre right! So, what do we do?

    Well, I guess we might as well enjoy ourselves since were already here, Brandy replied, giving him a bright smile and picking up a menu, her gray eyes sparkling as they locked onto his.

    Tim felt his heart jump. Um, yeah, we might as well.

    *********************************************

    Yeah, yeah, Im coming! Hold on! Shane shouted, pulling a shirt on as she ran to the door, nearly getting her head stuck in the armhole by accident. Whoever was knocking at the door had interrupted her nap. She opened the door to find a deliveryman standing there with a bunch of boxes stacked up behind him.

    He consulted his clipboard. Uh…Shane McCutcheon?

    Thats me, Shane told him.

    Im from Davis Diaper Services and I have your order here. If youll just give me the payment and sign this paper, Ill help get these inside for you and then be on my way.

    Diapers? Order? Payment? What? Shane asked, her brow wrinkled.

    The man shifted nervously, obviously questioning Shanes sanity.

    Shane stared at him, and then all the boxes behind him, as it hit her and all the pieces fell into place. Damn you, Alice! she muttered angrily.

    Comments

    1. No reason for the diapers, really. It just was what came to mind, especially since Bette and Tina are once again considering a baby. If you notice, Alice’s phone book kind of just fell open to the “D” section and she just saw a big ad, and that happened to be it.

      Besides, when I was a kid, it seemed like every book I read where people pulled such a prank involved either diapers or pizza. LOL.

      Although, perhaps the diapers could signify that Alice and Shane are being big babies about the whole thing? LOL.

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