The next morning, Alice sleepily climbed into the Mini and headed toward work. Her article was due today, so she knew she needed to be on time for once.

As she pulled out into the street, Alice noticed an early-morning jogger sprinting by and giving her a strange look. Alice glanced at the rearview mirror. Her hair was in place, no food in her teeth, no boogers hanging out of her nose. Hmmm. Maybe the jogger just didnt like her car.

Coasting to a stop at the red light and drumming her fingers on the steering wheel, Alice glanced over as a car pulled up beside her, the driver grinning at her and laughing. At that moment, a car also pulled up behind her, laying on the horn. Alice jumped. What the *****? she muttered, glancing behind her to see a young guy in a convertible laughing and pointing excitedly at her. The light is still red, assmonkey! she shouted. Alices brow wrinkled and she frowned. L.A. was full of weirdoes; it seemed she was running into them all in one day.

It was strange. The entire way to work, people honked at her, waved, laughed, looked shocked, or a combination of those.

As Alice parked her car on the street, she quickly hopped out, just relieved to be getting away from car horns and the nuts driving around her.

A car full of young men drove by slowly, honking and hanging out the windows, making obscene gestures and yelling things like, Hey, baby! Gimme some of that!

An old Hispanic woman walked by and paused, telling Alice with a haughty sniff, You should be ashamed of yourself, young lady!

What? Alice asked, but the woman hurried away.

Okay, what the ***** is going on here? Alice said aloud, gritting her teeth and leaning against the Mini.

As she did so, a woman walked by with a young boy. The little boy squinted and, pointing at Alices car, said, Mommy, whats *****?

Nothing, honey. Just a kitty cat, the woman replied, avoiding Alices eye and hurrying her son along.

Well, then I want some *****! Does that lady really have one? he continued, turning around to point at Alice.