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    Lost – part 7

    Previously…

    You didnt look like you were panicking at the opening. You looked happy, Tina offered in defeat.

    It wasnt happiness, Tina, Bette continued wearily. It was adrenaline. The danger of the forbidden act gave me energy. For the first time since since we lost the baby, I felt alive. It wasnt real life, but it felt like it, even if only briefly. Its the same feeling you get skydiving, the rush that comes before you pull the ripcord. I just hadnt pulled that lifesaving ripcord yet, she sighed. Or maybe thats what I was doing at the Provocations opening”pulling the ripcord. Taking the action that I knew would halt my freefall, she concluded.

    Lost – part 7

    Has it stopped?

    The question jolted Bette out of her reverie. Has what stopped?

    Your freefall. Has it stopped?

    With tears in her eyes, Bette nodded. With a weak smile, she half chuckled and half sobbed. I pulled the ripcord, but the chute didnt open. I seemed to have crash-landed.

    Tina was in no mood to share the humor in extending Bettes metaphor to its macabre conclusion. After all, Bette had taken their relationship to the ground with her. Will you ever mend?

    Bette sobered immediately and looked into Tinas eyes. I think that depends on you, T. I was never whole until I met you, and I know that I will never be whole again without your love. I know I dont deserve to even have you standing here listening to me, but I know that you are the only person on earth worth putting myself back together for.

    Tina bowed her head and resumed walking. She simply did not know what to think or how to feel about Bettes revelations, or about Bette herself. Maybe she just needed more time? She sighed and admitted to herself that she definitely needed more time. Alone.

    Turning to Bette, who had caught up with her, Tina reached out and took her wifes hand. I need to think about everything youve told me this morning. I know that you arent completely to blame for what has happened to us, but I really need to think about why you did what you did before I make any decisions about the future.

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