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    The Journey 8

    Chapter 8

    Tina contemplates what I have just said for a long few seconds. I cannot read the expression on her face, maybe this is yet one more thing we have lost, the ability to read each other. Although we are only physically a meter and half apart if that, we are miles apart in every other way. The tension is getting worse, you could almost cut the air with a knife. Tina is taking too long to reply. I am about to speak when she does.

    Tina : “I have no problem in principle with you seeing Laurel regularly.” Tina says in a measured way.

    Bette : “But ?”

    Tina : “I don’t know how to say this”

    Bette : “Just say it.”

    Tina : “Bette you cannot walk in and out of children’s lives.”

    Bette : “Is that right ?” I say it a little too loud. I take it as an accusation that I walked out of her life. I make no attempt to hide the emotion in my voice. “Well, Tina, tell me, whose fault is it that I have not been in her life, perhaps if I had known, things might have been different.”

    Tina : “Whoa Bette, wait up a second, you are the one who has been away for 18 months.” Tina counters.

    Bette : “I have no plans to be going anywhere Tina.” my voice is clearly raised, there is no mistake I am on the way to being angry, and then it slips out “You may not want me in your life but does not mean no body does, I’m staying.” The minute I say it I know it was best left unsaid.

    Tina: looks at me quite taken aback and starts to say quietly “I wasn’t the one the Bette, (pauses for emphasis) who.”

    Bette : “Come off it Tina, do really think it was all my fault, I may have fucked someone else but the relationship was well on the way to being fucked before.” I am not yelling but I am harsh in my tone. I have always maintained I fucked up, not fucked off, that is until Tina made is so clear I was not going to be in her life in any capacity, I had no choice but to go.

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    Comments

    1. Admitting you love someone is the first step to recovery! Okay, now that she has said it outloud and someone else besides the puppy has heard her…perhaps they can begin mending this wounded relationship? By the way, what is the damn dogs name?!

    2. Okay in light of everything we had to figure the first conversation was not going to go smoothly. Though it did get a bit more out of hand then it needed to. Bette still loves her, then tell her jackass. Same for Tina. Sam’s gotta be the babysitter,nanny,au pair, whatever, just not Tina’s current interest. You’ll get them there, right. Baby steps.

    3. Well done – I hoped that talk with less defensiveness but that was a pipe dream – your version was real and I hope they don’t have to battle too long.

    4. has been reading your story and it’s great: so much feelings and love. i like how you depict the characters. if writing is your secret life, well we are just happy for it. please continue and let romance have a good part in it.

    5. Sam is just the child minder – Right?
      Wow T& B still have such a long way to go to find each other again – but hey don’t rush it I’m such a sucker for these bittersweet angst ridden scenes of mis communication. Baby steps!
      (keeps the story going longer so we have more to read – LOL)

    6. I am so glad that IT’S out there! At least I feel better now because things will be going forward now, and maybe a little faster(?). I just hope Bette is able to convey this revelation to Tina before the lawyer and all. This is such an amazing story…I’m getting just a wee bit obsessed with it so please keep posting daily! Thanks!!

    7. “i still love her and i need tomove forward one way or the other.” fucking great. then pull your fucking head out bette and stop with the tude. shit. communication. tina was fucking there waiting for you to wake up with YOUR daughter. geez. what more do you want. and who the hell is sam. again soon please.

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