La Mer PT 5

CH 6

Sunday.

Couldn’t sleep. Wanting Shane. Wanting that mouth, wanting those hands, wanting those tight muscles, the silky soft feel of her skin. I had it bad. What’s a girl to do? Should I throw myself at her? No that’s just plain slutty. I had to do something….sitting here thinking looking at the walls…feeling like a prisoner let out of jail for one day….it just made this seem more dismal.

 Being out there in the sun…feeling life, seeing the light in Shane’s eyes…man I need to get a grip. Try to imagine what this must feel like. I am trapped pent up from being around Shane…there’s nothing on the TV. And to top it off…it’s only 3 pm. I had to focus. I decided to do those strength building exercises Shane recommended.

I pop in the CD Shane left for me. Something from a group called Massive Attack……Lots of really nice beats…Smooth vocals…Music to make love to….Stop….. you are reading way too much into it…I couldn’t help it. I had these images of Shane and me on the road…Sharing a tent listening to this on a  boom box…not to loud. I had to stop I was getting ahead of myself. I climb out of bed. I stand on the floor feeling the cold on the hospital floor. I hold onto the edge of the bed. And I do the steps one, two three….I was already tired. The nurse comes back and is angry with me for being out of bed.

“Miss Carmen…you shouldn’t be standing…you know that…” Nurse Ryan says.

“I know…but Shane suggested I do these exercises…”

“Oh Miss Shane…”

“What, what about her?”

“Well Miss Shane…she is very nice…charming…..sad.”

“Tell me…I want to know…”

“Well Miss Shane. She loves too easy and sometimes it comes back to her you know?”

“No I don’t know…”

“Well there was this lady. Fine lady. Rich lady…and Miss Shane found her with two men…imagine that in your own house no less”

“Yeah she told me that…”

“Now Miss Carmen I don’t mean to be rude and if I offend I apologize but do you have feelings for Miss Shane?”