No Turning Back
Chapter 19A

City lights were flashing by as they drove through the night. In the aftermath of her orgasm she had fallen asleep against the warm skin of Shane’s chest and when she had woken up she had watched the blue smoke coming of Shane’s cigarette, held up in front of her face, dancing around them up to the stars.
Now they were in the car again and the silence was thick, lying like a heavy veil over their heads.
Carmen sighed, and shifted in her seat after noticing Shane’s clenched jaw. Silence was always different with Shane. Sometimes it was good, really good, but times like these, when the silence could be too easily heard, it wasn’t. And by the little things Shane did Carmen could always tell if something was wrong. A huff of breath, a tapping foot, a bitten lip- but especially that flinch in Shane’s eyes- those eyes were always the dead giveaway.

‘Are you mad at me?’

‘No! I’m not fucking mad.’

Carmen watched Shane chewing her inner cheek, eyes focused on the road. They were almost home.
‘But something’s bothering you.’

‘Stop trying to fucking analyze me Carmen,’ Shane snapped. But Carmen knew she was right, and Shane’s words couldn’t sting her.

‘I wouldn’t have to if you’d just tell me what the hell is going on!’

Shane pulled up in the driveway next to the house, hands resting on the steering wheel. Carmen didn’t move, waited for Shane to get out first, but she didn’t.
‘I’m just worried.’ Her voice low.

‘About what?’

‘You. You passing out was really fucked up Carmen. And then you just act like nothing happened.’

‘Sweetheart.. I’m sorry if I scared you. I told you it was just bec-.’

‘I don’t think this is just about Maria,’ Shane cut her off.
Carmen folded her arms, stubbornly pursing her lips. This wasn’t the first time they fought in a car.
‘I think you should talk to Julian,’ Shane whispered, almost inaudible.

Carmen didn’t want to listen, didn’t want Shane telling her what to do, she just wanted to fall into oblivious sleep, end this horrible day as soon as possible and maybe, maybe she would wake up the next morning fresh and clear-minded. She opened the door and got out. She could hear Shane’s quick footsteps behind her, following her closely as she walked up the stairs to the front porch.