–

Inside it was dark but warm. Jenny was writing on her laptop at her desk. At least some things never changed. The blue light of the screen glowed upon her face, making the determined sparkle in her eyes extra shiny. She looked up surprised and smiled at the two of them, with their wet hair and smudged makeup. Her eyes lingered on Carmen’s face, sensing that something was wrong. In that instant Carmen liked her more than ever.

‘Where have you guys been?’ Jenny asked curiously, her gaze sliding over Carmen’s wet clothes, then back to Shane’s face. Shane answered in that nonchalant way of hers, and Carmen who was able to see right through it, started to get pissed. She knew it was stupid but her guilt was turning into a much more bearable emotion; anger. It was tickling and growing in her stomach, and there was nothing she could do to stop it.

‘So you did a little night swimming?’

‘I guess.. something like that,’ Shane replied, casting a cautious look in Carmen’s direction.

Jenny laughed, resting her chin on her hand. ‘So tell me about Charlie!,’ Jenny said suddenly, slapping the table with the flats of her hands, ‘How was it?’

Carmen took in a deep breath. It didn’t bother her that Jenny knew his name, what bothered her was the guilty look Shane sent her. ‘You guys if you don’t mind.. I’m eh.. I’m going to bed,’ Carmen announced. She walked over to Shane and kissed her on the cheek, leaving her to wonder if she’d done the same if Jenny hadn’t been watching them. Her hand lingered on Jenny’s shoulder, who offered her a warm smile, as she started walking down the hallway.

–

Carmen willed herself to fall asleep before Shane would enter the room. Of course it never worked that way. She could hear Jenny’s dimmed voice coming from the living room and Shane’s low laughter. It reminded her of when she was little, when one of her older brothers or sisters would threw a house party, and she was lying in her bed upstairs, feeling the base of the music and listening to people talking till the morning light. It used to make her feel so safe. Now she felt different, alienated.