Since she was back from Canada she had written on a story which seemed to be the wieredest one she had ever written.

She didn´t like what she wrote but it kept her mind busy.

With a sigh she glanced away from the laptop and turned her head to the front door.

With her head rested in her hand she stared at the door.

Sometimes she almost thought it would open if she stared just long enough at it. But it didn´t open.

She forced herself to take her look away from the door and scratched her left leg. Her scars were itching the whole day.

The last days were tough. Since she came back from her therapie she hadn´t cut herself. Not once.

Deep inside she knew why. It was because of Shane.

In therapie all she could think about was to come back to L.A. and show Shane how hard she worked and that she was okay. She didn´t want Shane to worry about her.

When she came back home she saw Shane so happy and in love. It was good to see Shane like that even if she often thought that Carmen didn´t treat her right but it was still Shanes decision and Jenny respected that. All she wanted was to see Shane happy.

But now she wasn´t here and Jenny knew that Shane definitly wasn´t happy right

now.

Yesterday evening she sat almost two hours on the sofa holding a razorblade in her hand thinking about Shane. Praying that Shane wouldn´t do something stupid.

In the end she just laid down the razor blade and went to bed, but she couldn´t sleep the whole night.

“God”, Jenny moaned brushing desperated with her hand through her hair.

“Why don´t you come back or just call” she whispered helpless into the silence.

She closed the laptop and stood up.

“I need to clear my mind”, she thought tired and went into the bathroom.

The water which streamed constantly into the bathtube filled the room with a appeasing sound.

Jenny tested the water temprature by helding her hand under the running water.

It was hot. Steaming hot. But she kept her hand under the water which turned red immediately.