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    A Means To An End 2

    Story written on December 4, 2006 by New Dawn Fades.
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    17 votes, average: 4.59 out of 517 votes, average: 4.59 out of 517 votes, average: 4.59 out of 517 votes, average: 4.59 out of 517 votes, average: 4.59 out of 5 (17 votes, average: 4.59 out of 5)
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    Number of Comments: 8
    Words: 4124
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=63443
    Author Notes:

    What did I know about love?

    A Means To An End 2

     

     

     

    CH 2

     

     

     

     

    Love.

     

     

     What did I know about love? I knew that love was an emotion that often rendered people senseless. I preferred safe. Safe made me a competent agent, a person you could rely on. Reliance, that is what kept me sane when Henry left me at the alter 5 months before my life changed in way I was not expecting.

     

     

    It was a revelation for me when he didn’t show up to our wedding. I knew all along that I couldn’t love him. That I couldn’t be there for him. And he did me one better leaving me to face a truth. The truth was I was incapable of loving him or anyone. My work was my life. Working was the only thing that kept sane. That made things about my life that I didn’t want to confront… bearable.

     

     

    I scoffed at hearing about Agent Morales and her loss for her lover. Her girlfriend was run down….and I remembered thinking tough shit. I remembered thinking that maybe it was some kind of punishment for her choice in life. That maybe it was karma for going against the grain in her sexual preference.

     

     

    The real truth was I bitter. Bitter that I didn’t have a lover who would mourn me if I was gone, bitter that she found love with a woman when I couldn’t even bring myself to admit that I was gay.

     

     

    Driving into L.A to meet A.D. Porter that night all I could do was laugh at the irony of the situation I was about to be in.  All I could think was why me? Why did I have to do this? As I walked into her office head in the clouds wondering about my misfortune, the realization of the moment was simple; it was karma. I laughed at Agent Morales’s loss and now I was being put in a position to atone for it.

     

     

    Nowhere in this thinking…this analyzing of the chain of my cosmic events did I think I would find love on the other side of that door.

     

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    Comments

    1. I love this chapter and I love the fact that Carmen is relying on Shane to bring her baby back and not turining her back on their love for each other. Great update as always!

    6. [gets on soapbox] I agree with NDF. Authors really like to hear from those who read their stories. So I encourage the audience to encourage the authors and let them know you support them. Not just for this story or in this site, but anywhere you go. I figure it’s the least we can do as readers since the authors take time to write all these great stories that we enjoy. I don’t mean to sound pushy, but it’s something to think about, I guess. Ultimately it’s up to you if you leave a comment or not. And here’s my comment for NDF: Super intense update, I’m relieved to see that Carmen isn’t angry at Shane about the situation. And I wonder if the kidnapper is really one of those four listed. (Spender always bothered me, and he was no Sheriff Hartwell, that’s for sure!)

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