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    Hindsight – Chapter 11

    Story written on December 23, 2006 by Jobadge.
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    2 votes, average: 3.50 out of 52 votes, average: 3.50 out of 52 votes, average: 3.50 out of 52 votes, average: 3.50 out of 52 votes, average: 3.50 out of 5 (2 votes, average: 3.50 out of 5)
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    Number of Comments: 26
    Words: 3324
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=63702
    Author Notes:

    Bette Porter: I had to allow her words to settle the storm in my heart…

    Hindsight – Chapter 11

    Main Entry: hindsight
    Pronunciation: ‘hIn(d)-"sIt
    Function: noun

    Meaning:  understanding the nature of an event after it has happened

    "Hindsight is always better than foresight"

     

     

    I saw Tina walk back into the lounge within my peripheral vision, I still had my lips against the dark unruly curls, I looked up at her, but as I did I felt the pain in my forehead, the intense shooting pain from the bruise near my eye, it made me give an intake of breath as I squeezed my eyes tight against the pain in my eye, fuck… it was sore, I hadn’t noticed too much before, there had been so much going on I had almost forgotten about it, just almost.

     

    She sat on the arm of the sofa beside me, “are you okay..?” she asked, “it looks sore…”

     

    “It’s just feeling a little tender…” I lied.

     

    She raised her eyebrow at me, a sure sign that she knew I was lying, “just a little?”

     

    “Actually… it hurts a lot…” she had no idea how much it still hurt, but all she could see was a bruise on my forehead, she couldn’t see the damage inside, the damage inside my chest where there lay an empty cavity that used to be my life.

     

    She lent forward, her fingertip touching the bruised mound on my head, the painful residue of a trip to the grocery store, I couldn’t help my eyes closing, her being so close always did that to me, her gentle touch could sooth the wildest seas, but at the moment it was at my temple, I gave an inward sigh and clenched my jaw tightly, my emotions were close to the surface, I knew that, they were never very far away these days.

     

    I opened my eyes then, looking up at her, I saw that her emotions were surfacing too, I tried hard to fathom the look she was giving me, sympathy…, empathy…, sorrow…, regret…, I felt sure I could see a trace of sadness.

     

    But I didn’t need any of those things, not from her; she had made her choice to be with another… him…  I didn’t need her to feel sympathy for me, or sad for me, yeah… I had wallowed in self pity, but I had done that alone.  I could be as low as I wanted when I was alone, I could dig down to the depths of despair as far as I wanted, but I didn’t want anyone’s sympathy, I didn’t class her appearance as anything other than her brining Angelica back to me, I couldn’t do that, I had already suffered enough, I couldn’t bring myself to hope for anymore…

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    Comments

    1. As always brilliant Jo. You deserved all the awards you got and i am sure that you will not be stopping at 4 will you ? as ever your writing takes my breathe away with the emotion dripping from every word. You still haven’t accepted the challenge to do damage to the Levi’s – i’d give you a new award for that ” the hell freezes over award ” you are still a yokel though Ally xxx

    3. Well, crap, Tina! Why don’t you just leave the kid with Bette for an hour. She’s too feeble to kidnap her right now. Besides it would go a long way to demonstrating both trust in Bette not to do that and give her a demostrative reason to trust as well. Or we can do the Solomon and cut Angelica in half. Whatever.

    4. jo—thanks for the additions to this wonderful story. It has been hard to keep up on the site over the past week or so…but you, Ally, and J are a must. Hope you and your family have a wonderful holiday.

    5. Tina could just leave Angelica but then again it is a way for Tina to build the trust by doing as she promises. I hope she won’t get held up because Bette will freak out.

    6. Hey Jo. Congrats on your awards – soooo well deserved. The way you portray Bette’s fragility is astonishing. I bow to the master LOL… Thanks and have a great Christmas.

    7. Bette has all the right to feel insecurities but Tina has the rigth to show Bette that she wants make happy and that Bette can trust in her. I think that She needs collect some clothes for her too and spend the night with Bette. congrats for you award. Happy hollidays

    8. You know I spent hours writing that story just for everyone, who had read it, at the convention tell me that they liked your ending better! Anyway, I’m anxious to know what Henry is going to make of all this time that Bette and Tina have spent together. Brilliantly written, it always a pleasure to read one of your posts.

    10. Sweetie – huge thank you for your words, they mean so much to me….and I love you too mate!! 3 stories = 3 awards speaks for itself, you’re the very best and my Bomb :o)) About the post – Ed think Tina should leave Bette and Angel alone while she pop out, I know it probably will ruin your plans, but it’s the right thing to do and you know it LOL. xx

    13. Hello Jo. Congratulations on getting that really big pen next to your name! Your writing conveys such intensity and emotion. Bette’s angst is palpable. Have a great holiday season.

    15. Great…intense…but I don’t blame Bette for panicking…what if T has an accident or Henry traps her somewhere…Congrats on your awards…u write great, intense, detailed,gripping

    17. I’m with the others who said Angelica could just stay with Bette. And like Rau said, what if Tina is in an accident. I could just see something like that happening. Besides, going shopping sounds easier alone than with a baby.

    18. I could feel that panick in Bette just through your words. Bette will be jumpy for a long time to come. In my little dream world she would return with all her stuff and move back into at least the neigborhood. Moving back into the house is not a good idea but at least out of Henry’s house and somewhere closer to Bette. Congrats on your awards and I hope that you will continue to write for many moons to come.

    19. Intense! I understand why Tina might not want to leave Angelica as sky pointed out. Maybe one of the girls could come by. So hard, but you’re doing such a brilliant job with this story! Congrats on your well-deserved recognitions and have a Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, have a nice day with your family!

    21. Dear Jo… Wow… Bette is really putting herself out there… Its so wonderfull when someone who is usually so close, finally opens up like an oyster, revealing the most wonderfull oyster, called a soul. I think its good that Tina is not giving in and letting Angie stay with Bette, this is T’s first chance (in a long line) to show Bette that she can be trusted again… Thanks for this wonderfull chapter, Jo, hope you have one in store because I’m hooked ;)

    23. Yeah, indeed, I think the most accurate word to sum up how I feel after reading this chapter is indeed : ” Wow ” ! Wonderful chapter, Jo ! I loved every single word of it. In fact, every word from you melts in our minds like pure candy. You’re the best, Jo ! You are a fanfiction goddess and I humbly bow at your feet. Furthermore, as I told Ally too, I want to thank you, thank you, thank you so much for taking the time to write even during the holiday season. Merry Christmas, Jobadge !

    25. I think just like Bette is not trusting Tina to come back…Tina is not trusting leaving Angelica alone with Bette for right now. I mean just last night Bette was thinking about offing herself with pills…also Bette has fainted in front of Tina at least twice in the last 24 hours and Bette admitted that she had fainted before. If Kit or one of the girls were there she would probably have left Angelica. It’s gonna be awhile before either one of them gets that full trust back…love this story so heart wrenching.

    26. I love all your posts, but especially the chapters from Hingsight, they made me cry and begin to hope that Bette and Tina may be together again. Please continue to write, you are indeed one of the best writer in the forum!

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